Those Kremlin Ghosts

At a Kremlin dinner, Nikita Khrushchev cried that Russia would abandon Communism "when the shrimp learns to whistle." Wagging a finger at Indians in Bangalore, Nikita warned that each beast has its own food: "You cannot force the buffalo to eat meat; the tiger cannot be made to eat grass." To labor leaders in London he explained the Soviet opposition to nuclear inspection teams: "We don't want people walking into our bedrooms."

Culled Witticisms. Though sometimes dull and often irrelevant, Nikita's freewheeling quips and proverbs were at first a delight to newsmen and an astonishment to diplomats. But last week there was increasing evidence that Nikita was not as quick-witted as he seemed. Truth was that like other politicians--and comedians--he depends heavily on a stable of ghostwriters.

Two of Khrushchev's top ghosts--Andrei Shevchenko and G. T. Shuisky--are, like himself, from the Ukraine. Shevchenko seems to be the senior member and, as an agronomist, is credited with writing most of Khrushchev's major agricultural speeches.

Knowing Khrushchev's fondness for the simple peasant phrase, both writers keep their notebooks filled with proverbs, historical references and even religious quotations that can be used if the occasion arises. Since Nikita talks on any and all occasions, the two usually prepare plenty of stock speeches before a trip abroad, with the quips written in. Nikita may insert a few remarks about the weather or a witticism culled from the typewritten review of the local press, which he receives every day when abroad.

Sudden Tantrums. For informal occasions Khrushchev maintains a mental stockpile of maxims and homilies. During his French tour last month, a Russian-speaking newsman, K. S. Karol, accompanied Nikita on the inspection of the Renault factory. Writing in the New Statesman, Karol noted that Khrushchev, far from being quick at repartee, uses his jokes to sidestep awkward questions rather than meet them headon. In fact, Khrushchev seldom listens to what his interlocutors are saying. In the midst of some innocuous remarks by the auto workers, Khrushchev suddenly launched into a homily on the happy lot of the Russian workers.

The purpose of his jovial sallies--like that of his sudden tantrums--is to make his listeners attentive. In fact, his technique is best expressed by the venerable Russian proverb: "It is the same with men as with asses; whoever would hold them fast must get a very good grip on their ears."

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