M. I. Tease

Once upon a time, little girls agrowing used to think dreamily of the day they would matriculate at Vassar, Smith, Wellesley, Bryn Mawr or Sweet Briar. But with the population explosion, those colleges, can no longer take care of everyone, and some girls have to settle for less. In Los Angeles, for example, there is the Pink Pussycat College of Striptease.

Founded six months ago, old Pussycat is steeped in tradition, and the campus bustles with a sense of purpose. "There are lots of girls who want to strip, but few know how," said President Harry Schiller in his first baccalaureate address. "Now they got a place where they can come and learn."

Tuition at Pussycat is $100 for a ten-session curriculum. After such basic, required courses as The History and Theory of the Striptease and The Psychology of Inhibitions, girls can major in everything from Applied Sensual Communication to Dynamic Mammary, Navel, and Pelvis Rotation. The entire faculty is Sally Marr, 52, mother of four-letter Comedian Lenny Bruce. With knowledgeability gained during her career as a tank nightclub comedienne, Professor Marr lectures her pupils: "Keep your eyes on the audience at all times. Learn how to look at one man and take your clothes off for him. Not too much bump and not too much grind--that's passe and went out with Minsky."

To prepare for a screen role in Seven Thieves, Actress Joan Collins dropped in at Pink Pussycat College to see how it is done. But most undergraduates are less celebrated--ambitious unknowns with names like Dee Pontius and Jo Lynn, who will go out into the world after graduation with new professional names selected by the college's vocational-guidance department: Peeler Lawford, Fran Sinatra, Toni Curtis.

Old Pussycat, says President Schiller, is filling a vital need "in a field barren of talent and ideas." Indeed, just as Cambridge University developed soon after Oxford, old Pussycat may some day stand at the head of a great line of U.S. institutions of higher learning, ranging from the University of Pantsylvania to Tartmouth and M. I. Tease.

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