Dating Bars

MALE & FEMALE

Even for today's liberated career woman, walking into a bar and ordering a drink on her own still borders on indiscretion, or at least embarrassment.

But there is one kind of saloon where the post-college girl in her 20s enters without trepidation--although having a roommate along helps. This is the fast-growing institution known as the "dating bar," which deliberately seeks the patronage of single males and females by providing the ambiance of a cocktail party mixed with the nostalgic roar of a fraternity blast.

The decor usually runs to dark paneling, Tiffany lamps and sawdust floors, the entertainment to jukeboxes stocked with the latest rock 'n' roll hits. Signs sometimes read: "Age Limit: 24 for Men, 21 for Women." Once the word is passed by the powder-room tom-toms that a particular hangout has become "a nice place to meet people," the rush is on. "After that," says Don Hogan, 39, manager of Denver's Piccadilly, "it all depends on what they work out together--kind of like electrolysis."

No Room for Bobby. In Manhattan, according to some chroniclers, the trend got started a few years ago when Berney Sullivan improved his small neighborhood bar on First Avenue in the '60s, hired young, good-looking bartenders, and soon built up a clientele of airline stewardesses, teachers and secretaries who attracted a crowd of eligible young admen, lawyers and even a few bankers. Soon Sullivan's place became so jammed that he had to charge admission to keep the crowd down. Next was "Friday's," so called because it opened on Friday and the first customer allegedly came in exclaiming "Thank God, it's Friday." On busy nights, half-block, hour-long queues now form outside this and other favorite rendezvous.

Newest in the successful line-up are Mr. Laffs, which goes in for major-league baseball players, and Maxwell's Plum, decorated in "spontaneous American" by Owner Warner LeRoy, 31, son of the Hollywood producer, who sees his pub as "a revolution between the old-style pickup bar and a new cafe. We act as catalysts to the very gregarious, but on a high level." So high, LeRoy claims, that "Timothy Leary used to come in every evening, and one night we refused Bobby Kennedy because there was no room."

Unwritten Etiquette. The dating-bar phenomenon has spread across the U.S. In Boston, when Bryan Wallace, 34, opened The Mad Russian last month with a collegiate staff, including two members of the Harvard football squad, more than 2,400 singles turned up for opening night. Whether in Boston's Back Bay, Chicago's Near North Side or San Francisco's Montgomery Street, the dating bars are providing career girls with a sorely needed new meeting ground. "No one thinks you are a pickup," insists Bonnie Cancienne, 23, a San Francisco securities analyst who graduated from Berkeley last year. "The people I would like to meet would be horrified to think of me that way."

According to the unwritten etiquette of the dating bar, communication begins easily. "How can I meet you without seeming to be trying to pick you up?" is good enough for openers. "Mind if I talk to you?" is likely to get a ready

"Why else are we here?" But a heavy breathing "I'm just back from Viet Nam" rates a sure putdown.

No Obligation. Girls tend to buy their own beers at first, but generally expect the man to pay after the conversation begins, although, as one airline hostess notes, "When someone starts paying for your drinks, it's a kind of obligation." If both parties fail to turn each other on, the girl thinks nothing of paying her bill, moving to another table and hoping for better luck. Even when the man turns out to be "absolutely gorgeous" (it can happen: Denver's Carriage Inn, open four years, claims 35 marriages), the most a girl is expected to yield on first encounter is her telephone number. Explains one Manhattan junior editoress, stressing the fine distinctions: "These are places to meet people, not to take a date." For once she has snared a man, the last place a girl wants to go is back to the old hangout. "I'd be insulted if he even suggested it," says one alumna. And for one very good reason: A return visit would only subject her new catch to certain needless temptations.

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