Pffhonk!

Like many contemporary composers, America's Lukas Foss, 44, has been experimenting lately with new sounds. At Manhattan's Carnegie Hall last week, Foss conducted the London Symphony Orchestra, with Soloist Mstislav Rostropovich, in the world premiere of his Concert (not, inexplicably, concerto) for Cello and Orchestra. There were no really new sounds in the piece--just old sounds, such as blatt, splatt and pflat.

The first movement had the cellist manfully circling around for three minutes trying to find D-flat. Soon, from loudspeakers came a cadenza recorded earlier by Rostropovich, who then played a whining, arhythmic duet with himself. During one dramatic silence, a massive pffhonk! bounced through the hall; it sounded like somebody blowing his nose. That's just what it was, and a good note it was, too--D-flat, in fact.

"Bravo!" cried a reckless woman after the first movement. To this, others in the audience responded in divided fashion: half boos, half hisses. A few avant-gardists countered with applause. More boos. "Bravo!" insisted the woman.

Undaunted by a few walkouts, Foss and Rostropovich clattered on for two more movements, straining the limits of the instruments, desperately avoiding melody and rhythm, grinding and groaning till they were spent. True, the applause at the end was louder than the boos, but much of that could have been a tribute to Rostropovich's bravery rather than Foss's.

Turning to a glum little boy, one woman asked: "Well, what did you think of it?" Replied he: "Sounded to me like a lot of notes but not much music." "Well," said the woman, gathering her furs in a huff, "sounded to me as if all the bathroom plumbing went wrong!"

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