Laughing to the Polls

KEEP WASHINGTON GREEN, urge the ubiquitous signs on trash cans and along highways in Washington State, and the supporters of Candidate Richard A. C. Greene wanted to get some extra mileage out of them by adding an extra E. Greene said no, but that may be his only restraint. The Republican candidate for state lands commissioner--who does not even live in Washington--campaigns on a motto of "Land and Order" and vows, if elected, to "fearlessly commission the land." He calls his opponent, Democratic Incumbent Bert Cole, "simply much too good" for the $20,000-a-year job, and runs for his office by running away.

From Honolulu, where Greene teaches Latin and Greek at the University of Hawaii, he has tickled the Washington electorate with a zany campaign that so far has cost him little more than $200, the filing fee. His wry humor, propagated in press releases, has gained him far more attention than he would have got in a costlier conventional campaign. A mustachioed bachelor with thinning brown hair and thickening waist, Greene, 30, says he was born in Crete, III., the "son of a well-known Cretin." He lived in Washington only from 1964 to 1967, and he entered politics because of his deep concern about proper land use. "Land should be used," he says, "gently but firmly."

His philosophy is "Archconservationist" and his politics "Temporary Republican." He did not cast his primary ballot, keeping it instead as a "rare souvenir." Yet he won nomination with 88,500 votes, beating three other Republicans, among them an Indian chief. Then he issued his grand manifesto, including a plank on Indian fishing rights. Each fisherman's limit is four Indians:

"Any Indian under 5 ft. 1 in. must be thrown back."

Greene's principal goal is to make a wilderness recreational area out of the present Boeing Aircraft plant near Seattle. He would cede all of eastern Washington, "including the fearful town of Yakima," to Idaho. "If they didn't accept it," says he, "I'd invade. It's high time Washington had a foreign policy anyway." If three-term Commissioner Cole defeats him, Candidate Greene threatens to consider "capping my teeth" to become photogenic, "and running for Governor." If he is victorious, he promises to serve, provided that someone can be persuaded to teach his classes for him. But first, he would demand a recount.

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