From Detroit, with Love

Honeybun,

Arrived in Detroit O.K. But on the way to talk to the people at Universal Inexplicable, I almost got smooched by a cop. Would you believe it!!!???

Well, it seems this city got a new police commissioner last July and, boy, I guess it needed one. A year after those awful riots and all, the ghettos were still rumbling and the cops were being charged with brutality, inefficiency, corruption and so forth. So this new commissioner--his name, I learned, is Johannes F. Spreen, and he comes from New York City--announces a big-deal program of police reform. Tough new disciplinary standards, new equipment, etc. Mace? Hell, no! You won't believe it, honey, but Spreen's cure-all for crime is another four-letter word: LOVE.

Well, as you know, I'm a founding member of the Peekskill Police Advisory Panel (PPAP), so of course I had to interview this Spreen. What a guy! Back of his desk was a huge Valentine from some high school kids inscribed: "Our cops are tops! With luv to the fuzz--Love--Peace--Have a successful love-in." So what's this love bit about? Well,Spreen explained, he had this idea for a 100-day love-in. For 100 days, he wanted all the wise guys to lay off the cops and give him a chance to make some changes. He said that if he had to pick one thing that could really solve the crime problem it would be love. Great, but what does it mean? Well, says Spreen, "if you care about your fellow citizens no matter what their hue, that's love. If you do your thing well within the law and within the bounds of propriety, that's love. If you have faith in people and your police, that's love."

The next thing you know, honey, the whole city is behind Spreen. He delivers some pretty corny slogans, such as "Robins be welcome, robbers beware," but they eat it up here. Actually, the crime rate went up the first two months of this year. Seems it was a pretty mild winter in Detroit, and Spreen says the reason for the crime rise was that he didn't have his three best patrolmen working for him. He calls them "Snow, Rain and Cold." Ho, ho! Well, just as this whole thing is getting off the ground, Spreen starts another drive, this time for dollar contributions from citizens to help the department buy some new equipment. He calls it "Buck Up Your Police," and already $11,000 has come in. And he isn't forgetting the reforms, either. He's putting name tags on the cops, and he has them out walking a beat so the people will get to know them.

He's cutting red tape so that any police offenses can be reported quickly, and he isn't pussyfooting around with any cops who are found guilty of brutality. He just fired one, reduced a couple of others and disciplined a fourth. Quite a guy, this Spreen. He's really changing things out here and making people love it.

Love, Your old man

P.S. Love to the kids, too.

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