Levantine Laugh-In

Wits rated it with the Suez invasion as one of Britain's more disastrous Middle Eastern ventures. Prime Minister Harold Wilson hastened to disclaim responsibility for the entire affair. The Times of London spoke somberly "of hospitality blasted, of reputations uprooted and of good intentions snatched up and hurled hundreds of yards into limbo." Added the Times: "A deafening silence has descended over the Middle East. Only the occasional soft sounds of a tank battle serve to fill the echoing void that has been left by the return home of Mr. George Brown."

Until 1968, when he resigned in a fit of pique, George Brown was British Foreign Secretary, and today he is an influential though erratic M.P. and Deputy Leader of the Labor Party, widely respected for his administrative ability and integrity. He also tends to be noticed wherever he goes, peering down a well-upholstered lady's cleavage at a party aboard the Queen Mary or enthusiastically hugging and kissing a factory girl during a tour of the Midlands. Last week, clutching his familiar amber worry beads, he returned from a three-week nonofficial tour of the Middle East, and officials in both Cairo and Jerusalem were still shaking their heads over the ineffable George's escapades. Items:

> In Cairo, Brown lingered so long with the crewmen of the 14 ships trapped in the Great Bitter Lake by the closing of the Suez Canal that he stood up Arab Commando Leader Yasser Arafat and influential Editor Hassanein Heikal for lunch. During his talks with Nasser, he repeatedly addressed Nasser's adviser on foreign affairs, Dr. Mahmoud Fawzi, as "you wily old bugger."

>Falling into the same old-Socialist habit of exaggerated informality, he greeted Prime Minister Golda Meir with a hearty "Hullo, sister," embraced her as her astonished staff members gaped, and, after an 80-minute talk, parted with '"Bye, lovey." During a dinner party, he reportedly told Mrs. Meir that she need not speak so possessively about Palestine because "you are merely a Jewess from Russia who came to Israel via America."

> At a dinner with Arab notables in East Jerusalem, he told a prominent Arab businessman who spoke of Arab suffering: "I can't see that you're suffering. You're fat and healthy, you wear an elegant suit, and you're definitely not suffering."

> At Jerusalem's Al Aqsa mosque, damaged by fire last August, an Arab guard refused him entrance because repairs had not been finished. Turning his pockets inside out, Brown quipped: "I have no matches." Everyone winced.

> Dining with Foreign Minister Abba Eban, he asked ex-General Chaim Herzog, former chief of military intelligence, when the Arab-Israeli conflict would end. When Eban tried to say something, Brown snapped: "I am not talking to you." Herzog, who is Eban's brother-in-law, said it would take a long time, then jokingly observed: "In any event, politicians like yourself will not hasten the process."

Brown: Wipe that silly smile off your face.

Herzog: If we are going to listen to your advice, others will grin in a more unpleasant manner.

Brown: That's a most silly reply.

Herzog: Silly questions get silly answers.

At that point, British Ambassador John Barnes took Herzog aside. Brown overheard Herzog say "thank you," and demanded to know why. Barnes replied: "Because I told him he was O.K." Brown: "You shut up. You are obliged to support everything that I say. Otherwise . . ." Barnes rose and said: "That's enough."

Brown's wife Sophie, who is Jewish, suggested that he was tired and might want to leave. George excused himself. Sophie remained--and burst into tears. Next day a handwritten letter arrived at Eban's home from Brown. It was an abject apology.

With that, and with Brown's departure, tempers began to cool. To many Britons, it was just another case of Good Old George's taking several drops too many and acting up. Brown is abnormally susceptible to alcohol--two drinks often are one too many. But as the Guardian put it, he is "a warm-hearted but temperamental person who often gets a worse press than he deserves." The Israelis also seemed inclined to forget it all. Asked if he was miffed at Brown's antics, Chaim Herzog shrugged: "Oh, no--he is family."

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