Great Escapes

Feeling all choked up? Sakowitz's department store in Houston is marketing a "home dome" that completely encloses houses and grounds in vinyl. Beneath the dome, which costs $7.50 per square foot, 300 to 1,000 tons of electric air conditioning will maintain an Astrodomic 72DEG in summer, while the structure seals out smog and soot. For less well-heeled customers, Sakowitz offers a cheaper escape from the noxious fumes: a sequined gas mask for $6.

In Dallas, Neiman-Marcus has another idea: if the air breeds black lungs, lift sail. For a fitting departure, the store will provide a $588,247 ark, "the perfect retreat from come-what-may." At 50 cubits wide, 30 cubits deep and 250 cubits long, it is slightly smaller than the biblical proportions, but still large enough to accommodate pairings of 92 mammals, ten reptiles, 26 birds, 14 fresh-water fish and 38 insects on its kennel deck. The species are presumably those that Neiman-Marcus deems necessary for setting up life in some as yet unpolluted corner of the globe. No rain required.

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