Of Cats and Skinny-Dipping

While Governor of Illinois, Adlai Stevenson once vetoed a bill to penalize the owners of errant cats. "It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted roaming," Stevenson explained. "The State of Illinois end its local governing bodies already have enough to do without trying to control feline delinquency." In a similar vein, Patrick Leahy, state's attorney in Chittenden County, Vt., has responded to police who requested official guidance in coping with an increase of nude swimming. Highlights of Leahy's opinion:

I have been reminded that in the past the plethora of paper from this office has included such legal landmarks as my position on the use of sparklers on the Fourth of July and the validity of upside-down license plates. With such powerful precedents in mind, I researched the [nude swimming] issue. I began by reviewing the old Norman Rockwell paintings showing such activities taking place allegedly in Vermont. (Along this line, I was unable to confirm or refute the persistent rumor that Calvin Coolidge had also engaged in such activity within the borders of this state.) I have also discussed--after grants of immunity--experiences of this nature enjoyed by some of Vermont's prosecutors, judges, law-enforcement officers and sailboat operators. I have even reviewed past histories with some of my contemporaries.

It appears that most Vermonters I've talked to have engaged in such scandalous activity at some time in their life. Times, however, do change. Today such things are apparently allowable in most movies, in the National Geographic magazine but by no means in the pristine streams and rivers of Vermont.

Therefore, to guide any law-enforcement officer lacking in other criminal matters to investigate, I offer the following:

In public areas and semipublic areas failure to stay clothed should result in a summons to court.

On private land out of view of the public, the state has no legitimate interest.

In secluded areas sometimes publicly used, if no member of the public present is offended, no disorderly conduct has taken place.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.