What is it like to be Jacqueline Onassis? One aspect of the answer has emerged from the Manhattan court hearing of the cross-suits between her and Photographer Ronald E. Galella (he wants $1.3 million for her "interference" with his self-created job of photographing her, and she wants an injunction to keep him 100 yds. away from her). In direct examination, Jackie told of sneaking out back doors and down dark streets in futile attempts to avoid Galella's "harassing" maneuvers--"grunting" and "lunging" with his camera, "flicking" her on the shoulders with his camera strap, bumping into her while shooting closeups on the street and sometimes reducing her daughter, Caroline Kennedy, to tears. Because of Galella, Jackie testified, she had "no peace, no peace of mind, was always under surveillance, imprisonment in my own house." She further suggested that the photographer's interest may not have been entirely journalistic when she introduced into the evidence a Christmas card from Galella. It depicted a short Santa apparently giving him money, with the legend: "The Payoff, starring Aristotle Onassis as Santa and Ron Galella as the Paparazzo" (Italian slang for freelance photographer).

The marriage that was attended by 35 million viewers of the Johnny Carson Tonight show is out of the tulips and onto the rocks. Miss Vicki has left Tiny Tim and taken ten-month-old Tulip Victoria with her. Miss Vicki (nee Victoria Budinger) plans to pursue a modeling career. An also a male model, says Tiny Tim (ne Herbert Buckingham Khaury), who is starting action for a legal separation "to get the jump on her." Nonsense, said a spokesman for 19-year-old Miss Vicki, "All the fellow was doing was showing her the ropes." However that may be, "The wedding ring will always stay on my finger," trilled Tiny Tim. "She is still my sweet angel and I love her more than ever."

How did Pat Nixon keep her cool while knocking back all those 120-proof mao-tai toasts in China? Daughter Julie Eisenhower revealed the sober secret: she faked it. "Mother said she never swallowed any of that horrible Chinese liquor the whole time she was there," said Julie. To show the rest of the family what the stuff was like, the President poured some from one of the seven bottles he brought back and touched a match to it. For ten minutes the White House dining room was filled with dragon smoke.

In a Los Angeles Times story on the city's mayor, Democratic Presidential Hopeful Sam Yorty, Actress Candice Bergen scored a small scoop: Sam and Betts Yorty both practice meditation. The mayor does it yoga-style in the bathroom after a shower; Betts does it with a mantra (the repetition of a syllable pattern). "I've been meditating for 30 years," Sam told Candy. "I regard it as just concentrated prayer. It lets me gather up strength for the day to withstand the barbs in the Times."

Is Auckland, N.Z., ready for the redoubtable Germaine Greer? Well, no --she was served with a court summons for using the pastoral expletive "bullshit" and an even earthier word during a speech she made at the Town Hall. But yes (or maybe)--when Germaine appeared in Wellington Magistrate's Court, a crowd of 200 young followers gathered outside and loudly chanted the forbidden language. In her defense, Germaine testified that she used the barnyard term because "there is no other word in our dialect which depicts as effectively a specious argument." As for the other word, she said that the only people who objected to it were "those who disdain the action it represents." The judge made a nice distinction--acquitting her for the first word but sentencing her to pay $36 and costs for the second.

When they arrived at a Republican fund-raising dinner in Washington, Martha Mitchell and her husband were accosted by a reporter who wanted to know what the former Attorney General thought about the ITT case (see THE NATION). "Well," welled Martha, "if you want to know what I think . . ." whereupon John Mitchell took her by the arm and moved off. The rest was silence.

TV Chef Julia Child was doing a demonstration at the venerable Smithsonian Institution in Washington. Asked about the occasional calamities on her television show, she replied: "Part of being a good cook is being able to recover." What Mrs. Child meant soon became clear when a bowl of flour and eggs spilled all over the stove. "What a horrible mess!" she exclaimed, and began mixing a new batch, while her husband cleaned up.

French Actress Catherine Deneuve doesn't talk much about being liberated, but she goes her own way. In 1963 she had a son by Director Roger Vadim and refused to marry him just to satisfy convention. She has been divorced for a couple of years from British Photographer David Bailey, but now friends report she expects another child in May. Catherine has announced no plans to marry the man she has been living with: Italian Actor Marcello Mastroianni.

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