"If I had known how it would turn out, I never would have done it." Wan and weary, his voice nearly inaudible. Author Clifford Irving had a last few words with reporters before being led away to begin a 21-year term at the Allenwood Prison Farm in Pennsylvania for trying to sell his fake "autobiography" of Howard Hughes. As to his future with wife Edith who still faces prosecution in Switzerland for her part in the fraud, he said: "I don't think any man can have assurances that his wife will be waiting for him after 21 years in prison, but I think I have as good a chance as any man."

Into Moscow's Sheremetievo Airport flew Angela Davis, full of gratitude to the Soviet Union for helping her to win an acquittal of murder, kidnapping and conspiracy charges. Without the support of the Communists, Angela claimed, "I would not be free." After being greeted by Valentino Tereshkova-Nikolayeva, the world's first female astronaut, Angela praised "the solidarity of American blacks and other oppressed people of color and of the working class, which is developing a consciousness that will allow us to join the ranks of socialism." A meager crowd of about 200 people, bused to the airport for the occasion, threw flowers at Angela, and then she was chauffeured away in an official limousine.

It started with a "One-to-One Festival," aimed at bringing some 15,000 mentally retarded children to Manhattan's Central Park and providing each with a volunteer companion for a picnic. It ended with a fund-raising rock concert in Madison Square Garden that featured Stevie Wonder and Roberta Flack, plus one of the rare public performances by John Lennon (with Yoko Ono), who personally contributed $60,000 and then delighted the crowd with an imitation of Elvis Presley singing Hound Dog. Another star attraction was Eleanor McGovern, who said that she liked the concert but added: "Why does it have to be so loud? My God, it was loud!"

The Godfather blazed into London, attracting rave reviews and long queues at the box office. Nearly everybody wanted to see the film, but not everybody liked it--at least not Sir John Gielgud. "Couldn't bear it," sniffed Sir John to the London Evening Standard. "Ostentatious mixture of violence and sentimentality. Shocking reaction by the audience when I saw it in America. They screamed with joy when anybody was bumped off. Brando is terribly slow. Why didn't they choose Edward G. Robinson and have someone the right age? Marlon is very accomplished, but he slows up the picture--it is a terribly elaborate performance with all that cotton wool in his mouth."

Lorelei Lee, the wide-eyed adventuress whose best friends are diamonds, is returning to Broadway. The story line will be updated--Lorelei is ten or 15 years older now--and Composer Jule Styne and Lyricists Betty Comden and Adolph Green will add a half-dozen new songs to their 1949 hit, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. The best news for Lorelei's admirers is that Carol Charming, who shot to stardom in the original musical version of Anita Loos' novel, will again play the lead during the 1973-74 season. "I loved Lorelei," said Carol, "and she deserves to be a living, breathing character again."

Columnist William F. Buckley Jr. was contentedly cruising off the Florida coast with his wife Patricia, son Christopher, two guests and two crew members when the motor of his 75-ft. yacht Cyrano conked out, leaving him becalmed and helpless. Rescued by a Coast Guard cutter after several hours adrift, the group checked into a Miami marina for repairs to be made. "I'm grateful to the Coast Guard," said Buckley, momentarily adrift from his usual wit, "but I'm not too grateful to the guy who was supposed to have fixed my drive shaft."

Oh, Aaron Burr, what have you done?

You've shot great General Hamilton!

--Stephen Vincent Benet

After 168 years, the name of Aaron Burr can still cause a bit of outrage. Last month reporters in Washington's Treasury Department press room jocularly put a plaque on their door, designating their quarters "The Aaron Burr Memorial Press Room," in memory of the Vice President who killed Alexander Hamilton, the nation's first Secretary of the Treasury. So many employees complained about the sign that it had to be taken down. Alan B. Wade, Deputy Special Assistant to the Treasury Secretary for Public Affairs, said he hopes to replace the Burr plaque with one dishonoring the most infamous newsman in history--whoever that might be.

The crocodile was a maneater, 12 ft. 7 in. long, and it had gobbled up at least three villagers in the wild Tana River area of eastern Kenya. At the moment, though, it was merely napping on the riverbank when along came Bing Crosby on a camera safari with his wife Kathy and his 15-year-old daughter Mary Frances. Mary Frances had a rifle, and she zapped the crocodile with a bullet right through the eye. "I'm getting the skin to make a pair of shoes and a pocketbook," she said.

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