"I am not worried about the days; it is only the nights," Henry Kissinger told Hollywood Columnist Joyce Haber. According to her, that is why Henry the K. likes to spend evenings in the company of Jill St. John, Mario Thomas, Raquel Welch, Samantha Eggar, Sally Kellerman, et al. What bothers Kissinger is the ladies' motivations. "Is there no end to my naivete?" he asked after discovering that one starlet was boasting about her dates with him. "I forget that they are actresses. They are only attracted to my power--but what happens when that power ends? They're not going to sit around and play chess with me." qed

"I don't pretend to speak for Bobby [because] Bobby and I disagree on politics," said Dr. Regina Pustan, mother of Chess Champion Bobby Fischer. As it happened, police in Washington, D.C., disagreed too. Dr. Pustan arrived at the White House with an Uncle Sam Halloween mask, a plastic pumpkin and sign declaring TRICK OR TREAT: UNCLE SAM SAYS SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE. PEACE BY OCT. 31. Asked for her parade permit, she said, "This seems very peculiar. Do you need a permit to walk up and down with a sign?" Yes indeed, said a policeman as he put her under arrest. Released, she joined 16 other demonstrators who chained themselves to the office door handle of the Committee for the Re-Election of the President. Police dutifully cut them loose and Dr. Pustan found herself rearrested.

qed

"Don't let's talk about marriage," said Sweden's five-times-married Film Maker Ingmar Bergman to an interviewer. "It's utterly uninteresting, whereas the relationship between a man and a woman is always interesting." With a six-part TV series on marriage newly filmed, Bergman had his share of deep Nordic thoughts to expound: "A life relationship between a man and a woman has always resulted in their signing a contract entirely to the advantage of the man...because men, damn it, want to hang on to their privileges. The fantastic thing is that women haven't managed to do any more about changing this state of affairs. They're constantly making sure everything continues in the same old way because they want to preserve their martyrdom."

qed

How much is a homeland worth--if you need to buy one? About $1,000,000 to onetime Miami Gambling Czar Meyer Lansky, 70. For two years Lansky has been trying to find a permanent sanctuary in Israel for himself, his ailing wife and his dog. The Israeli high court rejected Lansky's application for citizenship, and now the Interior Ministry has given him two weeks to get out. Since he faces prosecution for tax evasion and contempt if he returns to the U.S., Lansky is reported to be offering the million in cash, plus substantial investments, to any country that will give him a home. So far, no takers.

qed

"Nobody in Sweden calls me princess any more," said Sweden's Princess Christina, 29, thus enabling a roomful of Manhattan connoisseurs to admire the royal decolletage, which ended at about the navel, without committing lese-majeste. The occasion: a money-raising bash to buy paintings from various worthy artists. After panting up the 80 Steps to Host Robert Rauschenberg's panoramic pad, the 300 guests nibbled at salmon and sipped Muscadet (from artistic plastic cups) while ogling a Who's Who of the beaux-arts, notably Roy Lichtenstein, Larry Rivers, James Rosenquist and Andy Warhol. "I think this is a very beautiful experience," decided the princess. "We should have more."

qed

Playing the part of a girl once hooked on Karl Marx, Barbra Streisand suddenly found herself surrounded by Marxes: Grouchos, Chicos, Harpos...It was a scene in a new film, The Way We Were--a costume party to which Barbra, Co-Star Robert Redford and all the other guests came as Marx Brothers. Among the onlookers: Groucho Marx himself, at 82 the only survivor of the famous trio. Groucho offered suggestions, dropped a few quips, and listened to the others recite some of the lines from his films. Sample: "This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."

qed

Tarzan could do a lot of things --swing from vines, talk to jungle beasts and set Jane aquiver--but the one thing he could not do was execute the famous apeman yell. Speaking to a group of college students in Ontario, Onetime Swimming Champion Buster Crabbe admitted that his Tarzan cries in the movies had all been dubbed. So had those of another noted Tarzan, Johnny Weissmuller. "The studio had a recording of three voices," Crabbe explained, "one a soprano, one a baritone and the third a hog caller, who all yelled together."

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