The Great Elizabethan Drift-In

"If you think group travel with Cunard is just a trip on a ship," announces a promotional brochure for R.M.S. Queen Elizabeth 2, "we've got news for you." True, if unwittingly, to its word, the Cunard Line ("Great Ships of British Registry since 1840") came up last week with the non-ship-trip of all time. Little more than a day out of New York harbor on a scheduled seven-day Caribbean cruise, the self-billed Greatest Ship in the World lay dead in the water: a leaking fuel line had put all three boilers incurably out of commission.

Fortunately, in the Q.E. 2's resting place 270 miles south-southwest of Bermuda the seas were fairly calm, and passengers' morale was in most cases high as a kite. Surrounded by water, water everywhere, no one could complain that there was not a drop to drink. Ordering the bars open round the clock and all grog on the house, dapper Skipper Peter Jackson kept the bands going, the jollity flowing, for two drifting days. "It was all a little like Dunkirk," said one ship's officer. "You know, we English do have a talent for snatching triumph from the jaws of disaster."

The passengers, almost all American, generally agreed. "It's our first cruise," said a Connecticut man, "but I'd sign up again." Paul Keegan, of Shrewsbury, Mass., said for his group of three couples in their early 30s, "This is the kind of cruise you never could buy."

No Ice. To be sure, when the power went out, and with it refrigeration and heat, Q.E. 2 cuisine--never one of her fortes--gave way to a diet consisting largely of tinned ham, smoked tongue, herring, haddock and other delicacies that might have accompanied Scott to the Antarctic. Without air-conditioning in warm waters near the Gulf Stream, cabins were as hot as the food was cold and, because the electric pumps and purifying systems were not working, there was no drinking or bathing water. But in the great rooms of the liner, it was like a mod version of Wellington's ball on the eve of Waterloo. Singers Judy Abbott and Glenn Weston chanted as indefatigably as blackbirds on a spring morn. Bands and discotheques rocked away with Elizabethan abandon. And many young couples were seen to be popping below quite early, leading one ancient mariner to muse that the cruise might be fruitful beyond Cunard's calculations. The great drift-in's only real disaster, said New Bedford, Mass., Travel Agent Bob Penler, occurred "when we ran out of ice."

Surprisingly, though most of the passengers were members of the geriatric generation, not a one of them panicked as the great ship wallowed uneasily in the swells. Photographer Mike Palmeri, a passenger whose pictures appear on the opposite page, gives credit to an unflappable, infinitely courteous crew and to the infectious good spirits of a jolly band of American professional football stars--headed by Kansas City Chiefs

Coach Hank Stram--who had been scheduled to conduct twice-daily clinics on the pro game. "We shaved with champagne and brushed our teeth with Scotch," says Palmeri. "It really was an adventure. We were all one big family."

After 72 hours adrift, the Q.E. 2 family was eventually transferred to the Norwegian cruise ship Sea Venture, which had only 150 cabins available. Most of the Elizabethans had to sleep on chairs or the deck. Again, free drinks --this time with ice--and hot food helped soothe rising tempers. Landed after 15 hours in Hamilton, Bermuda, the Q.E. 2 passengers were given hotel rooms where they could shower for the first time in three days. Then, after being ceremoniously presented with complete refunds for their fares (up to $1,000), they were bundled aboard chartered jets for the 90-minute flight back to New York City.

Warm Scotch. TIME reporters who covered their return at Kennedy International Airport found them still in fine fettle. "Anyone can go on a cruise and say it was lovely and fun," said New Yorker Diane Holze. "But we were part of the news. We were making news and enjoying it." "Anyone," added one wag, "who claims it was a horror tale is guilty of a base cunard." Some passengers were talking of an annual reunion aboard the Q.E. 2--in New York harbor. Dr. George Lawrence vowed that his yacht club at Bayside, N.Y., would in future serve all veterans of the non-ship-trip a free memorial drink called the QEEE. It will consist of warm pineapple juice, warm Scotch and a chaser of nostalgia. The abortive cruise inspired another appropriately named drink: a triple boilermaker on the rocks.

For Cunard, the memory will not be so pleasant. The cost of the leaking fuel line in mid-Caribbean--including fare refunds, the Sea Venture charter, salvage fees, jet fares, lay-up in a Bermuda drydock and canceled cruises--may even exceed a cool $2 million.

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