Ah, Sweet Mystery

His successful hair transplants, well-publicized jogging, and recent reconciliation with his wife seem not to have fazed Senator William Proxmire, 59. He is still the master of an underrated art form--the angry press release. Two weeks ago, he blistered the National Science Foundation for funding six dubious studies, including such timely topics as African climate in the last ice age and hitchhiking as a possible addition to the nation's transportation system.

His follow-up two days later caused more of a flap: a thunderous attack on a $342,000 contract by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development to study the sex lives of Michigan State College students, mostly to find out why some fail to use birth control devices. Charging a "serious mismanagement of taxpayers' funds," Proxmire pointed out that the contract was awarded noncompetitively last fall to a former official of the institute for nearly $100,000 more than had been requested. For overkill, the Senator tossed in the argument that the students' privacy might be violated by the project. The institute substantially denied the charges.

Last week Proxmire erupted again in a press release denouncing the "bureaucratic-bungle-of-the-month": an $84,000 National Science Foundation grant to a University of Minnesota psychologist to study romantic love. "Not even the National Science Foundation can argue that falling in love is a science," he said, adding that the subject should be left to Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Irving Berlin. Said Proxmire: "I believe that 200 million other Americans want to leave some things in life a mystery, and right at the top of things we don't want to know is why a man falls in love with a woman and vice versa. Even if they could give us an answer, we wouldn't want to hear it."

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