Name That Tune

Almost everyone has had the near maddening frustration of hearing a nameless melody repeat itself diabolically inside the mind's ear. Relief is on its way. Denys Parsons' Directory of Tunes and Musical Themes, promises its introduction, works even for people who "think that A Flat Major is an army officer who has had the misfortune to be run over by a tank."

Including Bach and the Beatles, Monteverdi and Mick Jagger, Parsons' encyclopedia lists 10,250 classical themes and 3,900 popular songs according to title and author. It is not necessary to know how to read music to use Parsons' book. The key to the system is that almost all themes can be differentiated by the relationship of the notes to each other--whether a note repeats (R) its predecessor, or goes up (U), or down (D). The first note of the melody is represented by an asterisk. For example, the famous signature of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony would be written *RRD. Mary Had a Little Lamb works out like this: *DDUUR RDRRU URD. Graduates who this June march up the aisle to Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance--*DUUDD DDUUD UUUUU--may well sing *URRUD DUUDR UUU, Auld Lang Syne, when next they meet. Letter codes for musical compositions are arranged in alphabetical order, with classical melodies carried through the first 16 notes and popular songs through 14 tones.

Parsons, 59, spent five years devising his system. An eccentric polymath who trained as a research chemist at London University, he is now press officer for the British Library. He worked on his directory at home while watching television. "I continue to be astonished that such a simple test should be adequate to distinguish more than 10,000 classical themes," he says modestly. His publishers are even more surprised at the volume's brisk sales. Before reviews appeared, and despite a stiff hardback price of -L-6 (about $14), bookshops began reordering.

Not every buyer is a musical amnesiac. Gamesplayers, for example, might have their own use for Parsons' manual. What do the following songs have in common: Beautiful Dreamer, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, Summertime, Easter Parade, You're the Top, and Yes, We Have No Bananas'? In Parsons' code they all share the opening signature *DUD.

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