Call Me a Taxi, You Yellow Cab!

In New York City, nothing is more onerous than debt and taxis; while the former is easy to get into, the latter is harder to get out of. Task forces are at work trying to cure the city of its financial problems, but very little has ever been done to ease the torments that cabs and their drivers inflict upon a helpless public.

A taxi ride is the chief means by which New York City tests the mettle of its people. A driver, for example, is chosen for his ability to abuse the passenger in extremely colorful language, the absence of any impulse to help little crippled old ladies into the cab, ignorance of any landmark destination, an uncanny facility for shooting headlong into the most heavily trafficked streets in the city, a foot whose weight on the accelerator is exceeded only by its spine-snapping authority in applying the brakes. Extra marks are awarded the driver who traverses the most potholes in any trip; these are charted for him by the New York City Department of Craters, whose job it is to perforate perfectly good roadways into moonscapes.

Paralytic Yoga. The taxi machines are selected with equally rigorous care. Most are not acceptable until they have been driven for 200,000 miles in Morocco. After that, dealer preparation calls for denting the body, littering the passenger compartment with refuse, removing the shock absorbers, sliding the front seat back as far as it will go, and installing a claustrophobic bulletproof shield between driver and passenger --whose single aperture is cunningly contrived to pass only money forward and cigar smoke back. All this is designed to induce in the customer a paralytic yoga position: fists clenched into the white-knuckles mode, knees to the chin, eyes glazed or glued shut, bones a-rattle, teeth a-grit. To a lesser extent, the same conditions prevail in other taxi-ridden U.S. communities.

To be sure, there have been attempts in the past to rectify the situation. Apart from those that suggested sheer violence, the only sensible approach was to bring in a fleet of London taxis, which are wondrously compact and comfortable, can turn on a tuppence, and come equipped with diesel engines and drivers who say "Sir," "Madam," and "Thank you." Some New York operators experimented with a London cab in Manhattan eight years ago, but rejected it when they discovered that the passengers enjoyed the ride.

Undaunted, Emilio Ambasz, 33, curator of design at Manhattan's Museum of Modern Art, decided two years ago that what New York and other cities needed was a totally new look in cabs. He secured grants from the Mobil Oil Corp. and the U.S. Department of Transportation, sought advice from New York's Taxi and Limousine Commission, and drew up a 160-page study on taxis and their ideal specifications. He then persuaded five manufacturers to submit fresh designs based on the study. This week, Ambasz's dream, "The Taxi Project: Realistic Solutions for Today," went on display at the museum (see color). The five sturdy prototypes:

> Volvo: diesel-operated (22-24 m.p.g.); 75.6 in. wide; 67.7 in. high; wheelbase 120 in. Carries four passengers; entry through a sliding door.

> Volkswagen: gasoline and electric power (20 m.p.g.); 69.3 in. wide; 77 in. high; wheelbase 94.5 in.; a variation of the VW Microbus model. Five passengers; retractable step, sliding door.

> Alfa Romeo: four-cylinder gasoline engine (18 m.p.g.); 69 in. wide; 70 in. high; wheelbase 90.5 in. Five passengers; sliding door, retractable ramp.

> SPS (Steam Power Systems): four-cylinder steam engine powered by unleaded gasoline, diesel fuel, kerosene, methanol (12 m.p.g.); 68 in. wide; 84 in. high; wheelbase 104 in. Five passengers: powered ramp, hydraulic doors.

> AMF (American Machine & Foundry): two-cylinder steam engine, burns the same fuels as the SPS (17.5 m.p.g.); 72 in. wide; 70 in. high; wheelbase 108 in. Five passengers; powered ramp, sliding door.

All the models answer Curator Ambasz's requirements for improved safety features (Volvo adds a padded swing-down crash bar), roominess and comfort for both driver and passenger (all the cabs, for example, are large enough inside to accommodate a wheelchair or baby carriage), anti-pollution devices and high maneuverability. "I think," says Ambasz, "it could be 24 to 30 months before we have some of these taxis on the road." So far, however, the manufacturers have shown little interest in starting production. They are aware that private owners and fleet operators are worried about initial costs, maintenance and availability of parts. Not many drivers are prepared to spend as much as $10,000 (the projected production cost of the SPS model, for example) for a cab only to have it laid up for costly hours while the mechanics hunt for new parts. It is also too early to gauge driver interest in models that are so radically new in design and size. New York cabbies like to have plenty of body surface to withstand the impact of New York's crunching traffic. Says one driver: "For New York, you need a tank, not a car."

Still, Ambasz and the designers deserve credit for the attempt. It is conceivable that some day production models of the prototypes could displace the hacks that rattle through U.S. streets and bring comfort to the public as well as esthetic appeal. After that, Curator Ambasz might want to run up a show featuring the prototype of the Bionic Cabbie--the perfect driver, built to passenger specifications.

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