MARRIED. Billy Kilmer, 38, Washington Redskins quarterback; and Sandy Scott, 35, a Delta Air Lines stewardess; both for the second time; in Las Vegas.

DIED. Daniel ("Chappie") James Jr., 58, the first black four-star general in U.S. history; of a heart attack; in Colorado Springs, Colo. A child of Depression-era Florida and a veteran of the segregated armed forces, James joined in an early black sit-in in 1945, flew 101 combat missions in Korea and 78 more in Viet Nam, rose to be commander in chief of the North American Air Defense Command (NORAD) before his retirement this month. In answer to questions about his career, James developed a standard response: "I got here because I'm damned good."

DIED. Phyllis McGinley, 72, Pulitzer-prize-winning poet, essayist and author of children's stories; of a stroke; in Manhattan. After a lonely childhood as the daughter of an unsuccessful land speculator, McGinley moved to New York, took a job as a junior high school English teacher, and began selling poems to literary magazines. Asked by New Yorker Fiction Editor Katherine White, "Why do you sing the same sad songs all lady poets sing?" McGinley began to find her own voice and to extol the pleasures and poignancies of the hearth, Memorial Day parades, the smell of charcoal grills, the damp loafers on the lawn. "Mothers are hardest to forgive," she wrote. "Life is the fruit they long to hand you/ Ripe on a plate. And while you live,/ Relentlessly they understand you." A wife and mother who put her family before her muse, McGinley rebutted feminists who belittled homemaking. Said McGinley: "We who belong to the profession of housewife hold the fate of the world in our hands."

DIED. Dr. Martha May Eliot, 86, unpretentious, single-minded former chief of the U.S. Children's Bureau (1951-56) who was responsible for a dramatic decline in maternal and infant death rates; of bronchial pneumonia; in Cambridge, Mass. In 1921 Dr. Eliot left her private pediatric practice ("I never felt comfortable about asking for my fees") to study rickets, and along with Dr. Edwards Park of Yale discovered the preventive value of sunshine and cod liver oil. In 1947 she became the first woman to be president of the American Public Health Association.

DIED. Josephine Lawrence, 88, prolific writer whose 33 novels include Years Are So Long (1934) and If I Have Four Apples (1935); in Manhattan. Her job was editing the women's page of a New Jersey paper; at home she wrote of the daily dilemmas afflicting the middle class.

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