Between acts in Monte Carlo, Her Serene Highness Princess Grace is serenely back on the boards in the U.S. for her first American stage appearance since 1952. This time Grace, 48, is helping launch International Wildlife Year by giving a six-city series of poetry readings entitled Birds, Beasts and Flowers--with box office receipts going to various charities. Along with her costar, British Actor Richard Pasco, Grace gave her first reading in Pittsburgh and had a tough time making the Kelly pipes project. For her next number after the poetry reading, Grace will oversee the June nuptials of Daughter Caroline and Philippe Junot from a seat on the aisle.

"Your legs turn to rubber; the distance between you and second base looks so long you want to call a cab," said St. Louis Cardinals Leftfielder Lou Brock, recalling his feelings during his last year's try at Ty

Cobb's base-stealing record. Brock surpassed Cobb's total of 892 in August, filched seven more bases before the season ended, and last week donated his record-breaking shoes to baseball's Hall of Fame. At 38, the Sultan of Swipe pronounces: "The game's still a lot of fun, and I'm still one step ahead of the crowd." And one behind his next record, most likely. With his 1,658 career strikeouts, Brock is only 52 whiffs away from Titleholder Mickey Mantle.

The invitation to play in the Carter White House came soon after the Inauguration, but Pianist Vladimir Horowitz took a rain check. For his second stint at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (he first played there in 1931 for Herbert Hoover), the maestro wanted to celebrate the 50th anniversary of his U.S. debut. And so he did, last week, thundering out fortissimi to an audience packed with the likes of Isaac Stern, Andres Segovia and Mstislav Rostropovich. Carter, recalling the cherished Horowitz recording he had as a midshipman, said of his guest artist: "A true national treasure."

Sibling rivalry between spiritual leaders? Well yes, between the Maharaj Ji, a.k.a. Perfect Master, and his eldest brother, Shri Satyapal Ji (Truth Incarnate). In India they are often regarded as export gurus aimed at the Western market, but in the U.S. the baby-faced Maharaj Ji, now 20, was once worshipped as the Lord of the Universe by 50,000 or so devotees of the Divine Light Mission. In 1975 his mother, Mataji, disapproving of his playboy ways and his marriage to an airline stewardess, deposed him in favor of his brother. Since then the name of the organization in the U.S. has been changed to the Spiritual Life Society, and it has been struggling to hold on to its dwindling following (about 200). To rally the faithful, Truth Incarnate spoke at Manhattan's Society for Ethical Culture: "A potter can make many, many pots, but many, many pots can't make a potter." The thrust of his pap-psychology? "Life is not complete till you acquire a master." Also, Big Brother knows best.

On the Record

Pat Haden, Los Angeles Rams quarterback, on his Rhodes Scholarship at Oxford: "The Rhodes has made football seem less important to me; it brings it down to earth."

Benjamin Hooks, executive director of the N.A.A.C.P., at a gathering of governors: "There's a great lie abroad that black people don't want to work. I have an idea. You give us the jobs and we'll give you the welfare and see how you like that for a while."

Gustav Husak, President of Czechoslovakia, denouncing criticism of the 30th anniversary of the Communist coup: "There is an Arab proverb: 'The dogs bark, but the caravan continues on its way.' "

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