Yachts of Luck

By RICHARD SCHICKEL

THE GREEK TYCOON Directed by J. Lee Thompson Screenplay by Mort Fine

In one scene Jacqueline Bisset, playing the Jacqueline Kennedy role, complains about the cuisine on the yacht; she's really not into Greek food. What would she prefer? inquires Anthony Quinn, playing the Aristotle Onassis role. Italian? French? The latter. No problem! he cries. He'll have it flown in daily from Maxim's, though how he expects to keep the white sauce from separating in flight is not clear. But the point is made: we are here in the lap of a luxe so grand as to be unimaginable to us poor mortals who count ourselves lucky to fly in the general direction of Maxim's a few times during our lives.

But we must not think that the makers of this film intend merely to wow us with gaudy excess. No, no, no. They have soul. Quinn is discovered brooding sadly over his wife's beauty. Why does it make him gloomy? Because, he says, all beautiful things must eventually fade. That is in the nature of things. He is full of such slack epigrams, otherwise known as folk wisdom. Though this trait is more laughable than memorable, it serves the function of making him human, despite his wealth, his international wheeling and dealing, his lusty eye for wenches. Indeed, since everyone who has been in reach of a newspaper over the past 15 years knows in broad outline the later-life stories of Jackie and Ari, the movie's only surprise is the attitude that it takes toward them. It is not sensational or lascivious; it is, strangely enough, rather sweet-spirited. The Greek Tycoon doesn't even have a good decadent party scene.

Oh, "Theo" is crude, a little vulgar in his materialism, but really kind of nice once you get to know him. "Liz" is, perhaps, a bit standoffish, but also quite a nice girl once she loosens up. Of course, they have their tempestuous moments, but what marriage doesn't have its rough spots? The pair settle down very nicely together on the yacht or his private island, and she even gets used to his little quirks -- like not getting rid of his mistress after the marriage. Later, following the death of his son, Theo is seen suddenly to age. Liz shows a steely side; she is frightfully patient as he turns into Zorba right be fore her eyes.

For all we groundlings know, that may really be how it was between the historical figures on whom The Greek Tycoon is based, and certainly the reality of their lives together is none of our business. On the other hand, if you are going to be so tasteless as to start a movie like this one, it seems silly to try to act discreet once you go to work on it. Maybe the producers were afraid of offending what they would surely refer to as "powerful interests." More likely, though, given their laughably naive notions of just how the rich are different from you and me, they couldn't imagine their lovers acting any differently from some Scarsdale or Beverly Hills pair trying to make a go of a second marriage.

So. if one gives the film makers high marks for pleasantness of temperament, one must also charge them with that most heinous of show-biz crimes: dullness relieved only by an occasional flight of vapidity.

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