In Washington to support legislation for boxing reforms, Sportscaster Howard Cosell paused to pontificate on sports shortcomings. The master of multisyllabicism and monotone was particularly exercised by the overriding "syndrome" that winning is everything. This, harrumphed Howard, was all the fault of sportswriters. "Before we ever televised a game, the press did it. Let's put the blame where it belongs." The only thing wrong with telecasters, as far as the New York University Phi Beta Kappa could see, was that ex-jock commentators on networks other than ABC don't talk too good. They "consider it a monumental task to utter a simple declarative sentence," complained Howard. Was the statue of the Spirit of Justice behind Cosell throwing her arms up to signal unsportsmanlike conduct?

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A funny thing happened on her way to the office. Every Chicagoan knew she was going to win. But nobody suspected the size of the majority that tough Democrat Jane Byrne, 44, was going to roll up over a weak Republican to become the Second City's first lady. When the votes were counted, Byrne had 82.1% of the vote--the biggest landslide in Chicago history. The political heirs of the late Richard J. Daley were impressed. "A gracious woman . . . a young woman ... a girl," stammered Cook County Democratic Leader George Dunne, searching for a handle. Sun-Times Columnist Mike Royko, who milked the bestselling Boss from Daley's two decades in office, already refers to the gracious woman . . . young woman . . . girl as "Mayor Bossy."

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She was a photogenic starlet so beautiful she was allowed to play little more than photogenic starlet roles. But Deborah Raff in, 26, has a part to sink her psyche into: Brooke Hayward, in a four-hour CBS-TV version of Haywire, the bestselling daughter--recall of a harrowing, hectoring life with Producer-Father Leland Hayward and Actress-Mother Margaret Sullavan. Lee Remick plays Sullavan; Jason Robards is Hayward. Unlike Robards, who knew the man and brings friendship to the role, Raffin has never met Brooke. Still, she feels she knows something about survival because of the schlock she has played in. "I was very hurt by the experience," she says, "and I had to grow a lot. Either that, or not survive."

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When Attorney General Griffin Bell was cited for contempt last summer and threatened with jail for refusing to release confidential FBI files, Washington Lawyer Charles Morgan Jr. teasingly sent his good friend an unusual present. The Attorney General escaped the jail threat, but he hung the gift on his office door. It was still there when Health, Education and Welfare Secretary Joseph A. Califano Jr. faced a contempt threat as a result of a North Carolina civil rights suit. Bell, who would be called on to defend his fellow Cabinet member, forwarded the offering to Califano. "What a hell of a thing," said Joe. "To find that the guy who is going to help you stay out of jail has sent you a hacksaw."

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Conductor Eugene Ormandy and his Philadelphia Orchestra will soon celebrate 80th birth days, and one of them has decided that it's time to stop the music--or at least slow the tempo. The Hungarian-born Ormandy said that next season, his 45th, will be his last. Guest Conductor Riccardo Muti, 37, is expected to take the baton, while Ormandy, who built the Philadelphia into what critics have called "the solid gold Cadillac of orchestras," will slide behind the wheel occasionally. "My association with the artists and musicians of the orchestra has been my life," he said. "I could not imagine any but a gradual lessening of this close affiliation."

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"And now, heeeere's --would you believe?--Kermit the Frog!" That's who was sitting in for Tonight Show Host Johnny Carson on guest Monday. Kermit not only filled Carson's familiar chair, he even did a Carsonesque monologue, welcomed the likes of Miss Piggy and Vincent Price and badinaged so gaily with Ed McMahon that the second banana later confessed: "I swear to God, I thought I was talking to a frog." Kermit and friends did the gig to plug their upcoming The Muppet Movie. But with NBC President Fred Silverman urging Carson to spruce up the show for ratings' sake and speculation that Carson might decide to leave it instead, could "The Mighty Kermit Players" be waiting in the wings?

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