Happy Birthday!

The declaration of war was one of those "comic" greeting cards. Over the years, the war escalated. Sam Matar, a car dealer in Monterey, Calif., shipped off 25 such cards to his brother John, making fun of John's being seven years older. Sam got back 50 cards making fun of his weight.

Sam hired two models in bikinis to stroll into the Chicago printing plant where John worked to sing him a happy birthday. Belly dancers appeared at Sam's auto business to perform. A plane hired by Sam streamed greetings past John's house. A high school band hired by John played For He's a Jolly Good Fellow. An elephant was delivered to John's home.

Sam shipped a 4,000-lb. "Pet Rock" to John. John returned with ten tons of happy birthday pebbles and a message: "The 'Pet Rock' was pregnant. Now you take care of the kids." Two weeks ago, 4,000 Ibs. of manure were dumped on John's lawn, courtesy of Sam. Said the accompanying sign: THE BABY ROCKS YOU SENT WERE NOT HOUSEBROKEN.

Sam's 33rd birthday is not until Feb. 7, but John is already thinking hard. Says Sam: "The neighbors think we're both kind of weird."

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