Very few football teams use an eight-three defense these days. But if one should, there is a fine running play against it in which the quarterback fakes to a running back, who moves off tackle to take out the outside linebacker, and then--wait a minute, those blackboard chalk lines resemble old Ski Nose himself.

Which is probably why Alabama Coach Bear Bryant, whose defenses are more sophisticated and whose team, as a result, is so far No.l this year, looked skeptical when Bob Hope dropped by to outline the Ski Nose slant for the Crimson Tide. Hope was in Tuscaloosa filming for a Nov. 19 NBC-TV special, Bob Hope on Campus, which is all about cornerbacks, coeds and the kind of school spirit that Dionne Warwick and the Village People generate. But if it was all for fun, why was Joe Namath, the Bear's most famous alumni quarterback and Hope's partner in the special, scrutinizing that eight-three prevent defense so seriously?

"It was the most exciting opening I've ever been to, and I've been to a few. Thank God this one was mine." So saying, a beaming Bette Midler clenched a rose in her teeth like a kitschy Carmen. The flower was not accidental. Midler's first movie, The Rose, all about a downhill rocker who finally ODs and drops dead onstage, had just opened in New York to favorable reviews. So Midler was being majestically feted at a post-premiere dinner party. At the Roseland Ballroom, of course. With 2,999 other real roses decorating the dance floor in addition to the one in Midler's mouth.

Atlanta's Emory University, a 143-year-old Methodist institution with an enrollment of 7,500, has been described as "Coca-Cola U." because of periodic endowments it receives from home from the crosstown Coca-Cola Co. The latest donation to C-C U. last week was enough to slake the thirst of less-carbonated, better-known institutions like Harvard or Yale. Gruff Robert Woodruff, 89, who spent one year at Emory, then dropped out to pursue a business career that eventually led to the Coca-Cola presidency and chairmanship, presented the school with 3 million shares of Coke stock valued at $100 million. There has never been an individual donation of that magnitude to any American school. Said Emory President James T. Laney, unable to swallow his bubbly reaction: "We're encouraging everyone to drink Coke."

Penelope Pulls It Off was perhaps Bergman's most memorable film; its Anglo-German cast, insisted the director, was engaged not in porn but in a mere "nudie romp." Ingmar Bergman? Hardly, but close. The romping Penelope is the famed film director's daughter Anna, 29, who left Sweden 15 years ago to pursue her own career. So far, it has consisted mostly of nude modeling, skin flicks and dumb-blond roles on English TV. But Bergman may yet need the wardrobe department as she prepares to play a part, she boasts, that will "put me on the map." It is in a genuine Bergman movie, she says, so far undisclosed, starring father's favorite Liv Ullmann.

On the Record

Charles L. Schultze, presidential economic adviser, on the state of the economy: "It's the case of the missing recession. It's out there somewhere, but nobody can find it."

Lawton M. Chiles, Florida Democratic Senator, assessing budget requests for protection and perks provided for former Presidents: "This year, for the first time, the amount we spend on former Presidents will be more than the appropriation for the White House."

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