A Glimpse into the Embassy

Eight months of isolation and surprises

"It is going to be hard to last another day. It is impossible to go on." That is what U.S. Vice Consul Richard Queen said to himself after almost two months as a hostage in Iran. Queen, now recuperating with his family in Maine after his release, spoke about his 250 days in captivity last week with TIME Correspondent Roberto Suro. For all the hardship he endured, he told his story calmly and dispassionately, even recalling a jocular remark a fellow captive once made about his equanimity: "You are a perfect hostage."

Following the takeover of the embassy on Nov. 4, Queen was confined in a basement room he called the "Mushroom Inn." Several tunes a week he was taken outside for exercise. On one occasion, the customary blanket was put over his head, and he was led out of his room, but suddenly he realized he was going in an unusual direction. "I was really scared," he says. When the blanket was removed, Queen saw he was facing a wall. "I just thought: 'Oh, oh, this is the end.' " At that point, he let his story trail off, apparently out of concern for his colleagues still in Iran. But other hostages released last Thanksgiving have disclosed that they went through a mock execution; their guards actually squeezed the triggers on their weapons, which turned out to be empty. Afterward the captives were led back to their quarters in a state of shock.

Some Iranians were kind and helpful with small favors, such as fetching books and clothes for the captives. Others liked to harass them; one tactic was to ignore their knocks on their doors to delay them from going to the bathroom or getting something they needed. The tougher captors, including a fellow called "Old Stoneface" by the hostages, "were on a real ego trip," says Queen. "This was the big moment of their lives." Queen was blindfolded whenever he left his room, and except for his roommates, he was not allowed to speak to other hostages.

Late one night in mid-December, the Americans saw signs that they might be freed. Recalls Queen: "It was really happening. I could hear the students on the phone talking to the airlines trying to get us tickets." The elated hostages started taking showers for what they thought would be a trip home the next morning. But their hopes were dashed. "Getting up the next day and realizing, no, we were not going--that was the worst moment."

Like the mock execution, the talk of a release that never occurred might have been a tactic to demoralize the prisoners. But Queen believes that there really was an effort to free them that the students or their allies thwarted. Queen overheard some captors "really cursing the government, particularly the foreign ministry. They were saying: 'We've been betrayed again.' Evidently, the foreign ministry had worked some kind of a deal out."

After that episode, Queen felt really down. "All the way through Christmas we kept expecting we'd get out any day, but then I'd get this sinking feeling, and a few tunes I was afraid of how really depressed I could get." Around this tune, he displayed the first signs of his multiple sclerosis, including dizzy spells and numbness. By mid-January, realizing that "we might be here for a while," he began steeling himself for a long wait. He started reading voraciously--especially Shakespeare and U.S. Civil War histories--and tried to ignore his captors. "I cursed myself for speaking Farsi. Whenever they talked, I closed my ears. Whenever I heard a radio, I closed my ears."

As his illness got worse, he was moved to an upper-story room with a view of the mountains. By late June he was taken to a hospital. After he had to be fed intravenously for more than a week, the Iranians decided to send him home. Happily dining on Maine lobster once again, Queen remains vividly impressed with the determination of the Iranians at the embassy. "One told me with a straight face that in 50 years the U.S. would be an Islamic republic. Khomeini is their God."

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