By E. Graydon Carter

Most folks in their right mind wouldn't dream of taking a dip in New York City's fermenting East River, unless they were first shoehorned into a pair of cement loafers by a tall guy named Vito. But in a fearless act of her own volition, Julie Ridge, 26, did the unthinkable last week and plunged into the river's murky depths. Some 21 hours and 56 miles later, she was plucked out of the water, the first person ever to swim around Manhattan Island twice. An out-of-work Broadway actress who appeared in Oh! Calcutta! a year ago, Ridge staged the double circumnavigation to boost her career. Nothing turned up immediately. On the other hand, not much unexpected turned up during the swim either. "I came across some things I wouldn't bottle and send to my mother," says Ridge, "but no dead rats or bodies."

It is an intriguing combination of talents. To film Frank Herbert's 1965 science fiction bestseller Dune, Producer Dino De Laurentiis, 63, has attracted the likes of Director David Lynch (The Elephant Man), Special Effects Wizard John Dykstra (Star Wars) and a cast that includes Sting, 31, the leader and vocalist of rock's hottest group, the Police. In the established tradition of such rockers turned actors as Mick Jagger and Deborah Harry, Sting brings to Dune his own past credits, from Quadrophenia and Brimstone and Treacle. Not to mention an ability to whip himself up into a manic frenzy. He learned that skill for the electric stage acts that have caused the concerts on the Police's upcoming U.S. tour to be sold out just hours after they were announced.

This woman isn't just a model, she's an industry. On television and in print, the cheery vision of Christie Brinkley, 28, sells everything from cosmetics to health spas. In the past six months alone, she has appeared on 20 magazine covers. The Christie Brinkley calendar is about the only serious competition for Garfield the Cat, and Christie Brinkley's Outdoor Beauty and Fitness Book is poised to shimmy up the bestseller list. So lest a bit of open wall in a teenager's bedroom not be filled with her image, here comes a new $3 poster, her first authorized pinup, with the subject in a Norma Kamali bathing suit that not just anyone could or would wear. Next Brinkley must turn to promoting her movie, National Lampoon's Vacation, due out later this summer. "Life," as Christie has said, "is the search for a decent night's sleep."

Imagine a tiny, alien creature landing in St. Louis on a hot summer's evening. His mission: to find out what all this imperial talk of crowning a Miss Universe is about. Making his way to the wings of the stage, he turns and sees Pageant Host Bob Barker, 59. (Truth or Consequences and The Price Is Right are not in syndication on his planet yet, but the visitor feels Bob looks shorter in person than on the TV monitor.) He also gets a new twist on "singing," when Guest Star John Schneider (The Dukes of Hazzard) belts out "It's not where you start. It's where you finish." Finally, Miss New Zealand, Lorraine Elizabeth Downes, 19, is proclaimed Miss Universe. The alien reads the data sheet Downes filled out before the competition. "Occupation: model. Hobbies: dance, regular workouts at gym, swimming, tennis, jogging. Life ambition: to strive for a good quality of life, and to be appreciative of what I accomplish in my life." He attends a press conference in the bedroom of a hotel suite the next morning. In her pink nightie and with her eggs Benedict cooling in front of her, Miss Universe describes her plans for the future (assisted by the estimated $150,000 in cash and prizes): "I want to travel throughout the world and spread peace among different countries." Phoning home, the little guy reports that the universe's new queen should get his planet's support after all and that a planned invasion might better be put off until another day.

--By E. Graydon Carter This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so viewer discretion is required.