Please Turn Off the Dog

Now that you've had your frozen diet gourmet TV dinner and played checkers with the computer, what other experience is left to simulate? Would you believe a video dog? A video cat?

Believe it. No need to change the kitty litter or take Woofer for a walk. For about $20, Creative Programming Inc. of New York City is offering brief videotapes that provide the "full rich experience of owning your own pet without the mess and inconvenience of the real thing."

The video hound, a furry mutt, fetches video bones and "responds" to a few commands (if given in a predetermined order). The felines frolic with balls of string.

"There's no responsibility," says Stephen Bruce, whose New York City boutique Serendipity 3 sells the tapes. "When you're finished you can just go right back to your work." Robert Muller of Jackson, Miss., bought his wife Julie a video dog for Christmas and enjoyed showing it off to relatives. "We got to say, 'Look, we just got our video dog, and it's already housebroken.' "

The company won't release figures, but it claims the tapes are selling well, mostly through catalogs. Meanwhile, pet shop owners profess unconcern. Says one Manhattan doggie vendor: "The next thing you know they'll come out with video husbands and wives."

Don't laugh. Already, there is a Video Baby. Perhaps next: video girlfriends and boyfriends. Imagine, the "rich experience . . . without the mess and inconvenience of the real thing." Video Date, anyone?