A Sexual Etiquette Guide

By Letitia Baldrige and Judith Martin

For advice on how to deal with unwelcome attentions in the office, TIME consulted etiquette experts Letitia Baldrige and Judith Martin (Miss Manners). Their counsel:

Your supervisor asks you for a date despite the fact that you have already refused him once. How do you politely say no in a strong enough way that he won't ask you a third time?

BALDRIGE: It's not a time to be mealymouthed. You should say, "I enjoy working for this company, but I am not going to go out with you." You have to make it perfectly clear that you will not have any of that nonsense.

Your boss has referred to the women in the office as "skirts" or has addressed you as "honey." How do you get him to stop?

MARTIN: If it's a first offense, you can treat it lightly. He may be a well- meaning man who has always called women "honey" and needs to be educated. But if it continues, you should be firm and say, "I prefer to be addressed as Miss Smith."

What do you do when a colleague continually tells you of his sexual fantasies?

BALDRIGE: Say, "Look, you have a serious problem. As a friend, I would suggest that you get a therapist, because you need help." If he won't stop, you report him.

How do you keep your professional distance when your employer feels it is O.K. to constantly touch you, or leans in too close at your desk?

MARTIN: The thing to do is to scream and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, you startled me." Then move away. They don't do it a second time.