Forward Spin

By Janice Castro

DIAMOND RINGER

The Mets had $29 million; the Pirates didn't. So Bobby Bonilla will play for the Mets at $37,275 a hit, more than most of the fans make in a year. Watch for higher popcorn prices at Shea.

PERFORMANCE ART

For the late-night show Studs, the women date the men, then appear on the air to critique their amorous talents. Contestants on Night Games demonstrate their seduction techniques live. Next, for the fitness crowd: Bedroom Gladiators.

IT'S DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN

Neil Young, the reigning king of feedback, is recording an acoustic album. So many rockers are forsaking electric guitars that MTV features their videos on a show called Unplugged. Expect a boom in kazoos.

HAVE SOME CAKE

To help a New York City charity collecting secondhand coats for the poor, Mayor David Dinkins donated an elegant cashmere number (estimated replacement value: $1,400). Maybe Dan Quayle could give his golf clubs to the homeless. David Duke could throw in some white satin sheets.

SUDS

Common sense and calorie consciousness have put a dent in beer sales. Miller Time gave way to near beer, lite beer, then dry beer. Next: tap water with a side order of organically grown hops.

WORD WATCH

"Apropos of nothing" -- why does everyone keep starting sentences this way? People use this slapdash transition to jump from one thought to the next, their conversation tracking like a string of commercials. Warning: non sequiturs ahead.

With reporting by Sidney Urquhart