Southern Playbook

By Janice Castro

FLUENCY COUNTS

Now that Clinton's down home, he's rolling out the kind of colorful sayings that Dan Rather usually saves up for election night. The other day he complained that some folks were squealing like a pig caught under a gate. Well, you probably had to be there -- and that's the point.

CLINTON LUCK...

But just when he seemed to be rolling in Southern clover, Willie went off half-cocked at an open mike, lambasting Jesse Jackson for supposed backstabbing. Now Jesse will likely orchestrate a prolonged public apologia from the Son of the South -- which, no matter how it goes, may rile black and white voters alike.

QUAYLE WATCH

Will somebody take that boy in hand? Campaigning near Atlanta, he made the obligatory stop for local chow, ducking into a barbecue joint for a chopped pork sandwich and iced tea. But he got it to go -- and he went in his limo.

HOW'S THAT AGAIN?

Bob Kerrey had the right cast, but he needs better writers. Speaking at Atlanta's Spelman College, surrounded by uniformed veterans (hint, hint), he declared that if Clinton got the nomination, Bush would open him up like a soft peanut. He later corrected himself, substituting a boiled peanut, only to seem stuck on an unfamiliar Southernism. |

JESSE'S WAY

The man who won't be king likes to play kingmaker -- or at least kingbreaker. Last week he announced that almost all the Democrats will meet with him on issues like education, health and housing. The missing communicant: Bill Clinton.

ROOTS, BUCHANAN-STYLE

He's Washington, he's urbane. But two of his ancestors served in the Civil War. Bingo! Last week Pat brought flowers to the small family plot in Mississippi in a timely reminder that the Buchanans were on the right side in the War of Northern Aggression.

With reporting by Wendy Cole