The Shows We Won't Be Seeing

1 THE MESSENGER -- Man who lives 15 min. in the future carries helpful messages in holographs implanted in his body.

2 ISLAND GUY -- Pacific-island boy canoes to the U.S. and moves in with yuppies.

3 MUDDLING THROUGH -- Recently paroled woman who has shot her husband returns to work at her family's madcap cafe.

4 HOT & BOTHERED -- Improbable circumstances force a model to live with a lame-brain auto mechanic.

5 FIRST FAMILY -- Zany Neanderthals.

What if TV programming executives were even less discriminating than we think they are? We might have ended up seeing the listings above next season. The networks have just finished announcing their fall schedules, and all of these shows were prime-time candidates. Happily, none made it.