YIKES! IT'S JOEY BUTTA-HUGH-CO

By Belinda Luscombe

DAY ONE: 1:30 a.m. British loveboat and one-man charm school HUGH GRANT, for reasons best kept to himself, visits the seediest stretch of Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood and invites working girl DIVINE BROWN a.k.a. Pancake a.k.a. Stella Marie Thompson into his rented BMW. They strike a deal that entails his giving her, among other things, $45. At about 1:45 a.m. the local constabulary interrupts. "I did something completely insane," says Grant later. Around the world, people agree. Day's Big Rumor: Brown is a guy.

DAY TWO: When the news hits Britain, where Grant is almost as popular as oxygen, people are baffled as to how he could have strayed from a lover with as many low-cut dresses as Estee Lauder spokesperson ELIZABETH HURLEY. The London Sun papers Sunset with posters offering $150,000 for an exclusive with Brown. Day's Big Rumor: Fox is panicking about prospects for Grant's first big-budget movie, Nine Months, out this month.

DAY THREE: Hurley appears publicly in a chin-up mint green suit, and later releases a statement saying she's "bewildered and saddened." Consensus in Hollywood: Grant's career is far from over. "He can work for me anytime," says Miramax chairman Harvey Weinstein. Day's Big Rumor: Hurley will be forced to choose between Lauder and Grant.

DAY FOUR: Grant and Hurley, reunited at an English country house, lunch in range of telephoto lenses. Titillating reports circulate of a double bed being delivered. Madame Tussaud's says it will not drop plans for creating a wax effigy of Grant. Day's Big Rumor: No one will remember any of this next week.