NOTEBOOK

By JANICE M. HOROWITZ, NADYA LABI, LINA LOFARO, BELINDA LUSCOMBE, EMILY MITCHELL, MEGAN RUTHERFORD AND ALAIN L. SANDERS

WINNERS & LOSERS

LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING

[WINNERS]

FRANK SINATRA Mia works that old black magic. Next to the Woodman, Ol' Blue Eyes is Mr. Tenderhearted

DIANE BLOOD Can you conceive it? Court clears way for British widow to use dead hubby's sperm

PETER JENNINGS It's not as easy as ABC, as the suave anchor signs up to get hitched for the fourth time

[& LOSERS]

MUFFIN Komodo dragon prepares to mate. If her partner doesn't fancy her, he'll have her for lunch

GENNIFER FLOWERS An affair to regret. She's the First Mistress of a new pay-as-you-go cybersex Website

U.S. POSTAL SERVICE Love is no longer in the air. Necking swans replace the four-letter word on 1997 stamp

LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PRODUCTS

Just in time for Valentine's Day, three tools for the truly unlucky in love

DESPERATE 1. The Kissing Machine[TM] $49.95 Sometimes a kiss is more than just a kiss. With the help of this battery-operated gadget, a smooch can be shock therapy too. Connect one set of wires to your stereo, hold one handle each, turn the knobs, kiss and whammo! You complete the circuit, and the electricity really flows. It could cure you of kissing forever.

REALLY DESPERATE 2. Boyfriend In-A-Box[TM] $14.95 Fantasy is the spice of many a relationship, but Cowboy Clint may not be what Dr. Ruth had in mind. He doesn't exist, but his paper trail will make your colleagues think he does: photos, phone messages, even a card to go with the flowers. Clint will love you forever, or you'll get your money back.

LOST CAUSE 3. Tamagotchi[TM] $16 Still craving companionship? The Japanese are flocking to buy Tamagotchi, a digital gadget that doubles as a pet chick. Available soon in the U.S., Tamagotchi (Japanese for cute little egg) hatches onscreen. Owners feed, amuse and clean up after their feathered friend by pressing buttons. If the bird begins to fade away, suspect fowl play. Owner neglect results in Tami's virtual death. Love is cruel.

HEALTH REPORT

THE GOOD NEWS

--Raise another glass to ALCOHOL. One or two drinks a day seem to cut by one-third the risk of developing clogged arteries in the legs--a pain-ful, sometimes dangerous condition that tends to afflict the elderly. Alcohol probably helps legs the same way it helps the heart--by raising good hdl cholesterol.

--A transplant triumph. Nearly 90% of BONE-MARROW-TRANSPLANT patients who survive the procedure are in good health five years later.

--Cutting the risk of BLOOD CLOTS. Patients who have had more than one blood clot can dramatically reduce their chances of getting another by using the anticoagulant Coumadin--provided they stay on it permanently. Today most patients use the thinner just six months.

THE BAD NEWS

--Not a sight for sore eyes. EYEDROPS that claim to get the red out may wind up making eyes even redder. Reason: drops work by constricting blood vessels, but as the medicine wears off, the vessels can react by dilating beyond their original size.

--HAIR DYE shows its true colors. Research suggests dyes that are applied daily until the desired color is achieved--Grecian Formula, for example--may leave dangerous residues of lead on hands and bathroom surfaces. Of particular concern: kids who touch the stuff and swallow it. Manufacturers dispute these findings.

--Anxious or depressed? This won't cheer you. Adults troubled by anxiety or depression may be twice as likely as their calm, happy peers to develop HYPERTENSION later in life.

Sources--GOOD NEWS: Circulation; Annals of Internal Medicine; New England Journal of Medicine BAD NEWS: Archives of Ophthalmology; Journal of the American Pharmaceutical Association; Archives of Family Medicine

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

LAUREN CHAPIN, 51 ; ORLANDO, FLORIDA, Former child actress

From ages 5 to 14, Chapin portrayed Kathy ("Kitten") Anderson in the TV series Father Knows Best. But in the years that followed she lived anything but the serene life depicted on that show, successfully fighting a long battle with drug addiction. Then one day in 1979, when her five-year-old son Matthew asked her to go to church with him, she became a born-again Christian, and later an evangelist. But Chapin never abandoned show biz, acting in three Father Knows Best reunion specials, managing younger talents and judging beauty pageants. She is currently developing a TV series that takes a nostalgic look at the history of radio and television. The performing bug has also bitten Chapin's daughter Summer, 18. Says Chapin: "To see that she has a good handle on performing gives me a great deal of satisfaction, because I didn't."

34 YEARS AGO IN TIME

Forward, March!

Last time a Democrat hired a Republican to run the Pentagon, there was no mistaking the Top Gun: "That there could be any argument about his policies is a source of astonishment to [Robert] McNamara. He is utterly convinced of the inevitability of his views. He believes that any problem can be solved by examination of the facts, consideration of the available 'options,' and application of logical decisions...Like no Defense Secretary before him, he has seized control of the Pentagon. Military leaders can offer advice, but McNamara makes the decisions...His love of computers, and his own computerlike mind, have led to the bitter quip that IBM really stands for 'I, Bob McNamara.'" --Feb. 15, 1963