SEX AND THE SINGLE PILOT

By MARGARET CARLSON

Air Force Lieut. Kelly Flinn could be the poster child for "Smart Women, Foolish Choices." The first woman to fly a B-52 bomber, she was named "the most distinguished" student at flight-training school. At Minot (N.D.) Air Force Base, Flinn was chosen to take the Secretary of the Air Force for a spin.

But all that is over now. Flinn, 26, is applying for an honorable discharge to avoid facing a court-martial on charges including adultery and disobeying an order. Her decline began when she fell in love with Marc Zigo, a civilian who coached kids' soccer at the base. Believing he was separated, she started going out with him last summer. Soon he was telling her she was the love of his life, spoke of marriage and gave her an Irish promise ring.

The relationship was private until another officer under investigation for misconduct pointed the finger at Zigo and Flinn. The two agreed to deny their affair, and she signed a statement in November saying the relationship was platonic. But Zigo, unbeknown to Flinn, blurted out everything to investigators, who probed for details about their foreplay, birth control and where they had sex. The official report is so graphic it is stamped WARNING: THIS REPORT CONTAINS EXPLICIT MATERIAL. In mid-December, the Air Force gave Flinn a written order not to come within 100 ft. of Zigo, but she was already living with him, thought they would be married and let him stay. She even took him home to meet her family at Christmas.

In January the Air Force showed Flinn Zigo's statement, and she knew she had fallen hard for the wrong man, a louse so low he makes George Costanza look like Sir Galahad. Zigo, whom she swiftly kicked out, had lied about nearly everything: his birthplace, his age, his marital status, his probation on wife-beating charges. The ring he gave Flinn was the same one he had given his wife. He even lied about his soccer career.

Foolish, hurtful, deceitful behavior in matters romantic and sexual occurs every day in civilian life. It elicits responses ranging from sympathy to "Boy, are you stupid" to higher ratings for your talk show--a potential silver lining for Kathie Lee Gifford. Much of this happens at work because, to paraphrase Willie Sutton, that's where the opposite sex is. The question is, How much can--or should--an employer try to control it? There has to be a stricter standard in the life-and-death military, but something is out of kilter when two married executives at ABC have an affair and one gets promoted to president of ABC News, while Lieut. Flinn, who had an affair with a civilian she initially didn't know was married, faced dishonorable discharge and 9 1/2 years in prison. Does it make sense to throw 65,000 young women together with several hundred thousand males, under immense stress, boredom and loneliness--then also raise the bar on sexual misconduct far above where it is in society in general?

The Air Force insists it isn't the adultery that did Flinn in but disobeying an order and lying. Once again, it's the cover-up, not the crime. Why wasn't she given counseling, a reprimand or reassignment? At the same base where Flinn was being hounded, a lieutenant colonel having an affair with his secretary was given a reprimand and fined $4,600 last year. Late last week the Air Force put out feelers encouraging Flinn to resign. Too bad she didn't refuse to go quietly.