GOING FOR THE RAFTERS

By CHRISTOPHER JOHN FARLEY

Sometimes--like, say, after you've heard that horrifically Day-Glo song Barbie Girl for the 1,651st time on the radio--you just want to hear an old-fashioned song song. The kind where the singer actually sings, the melody actually has a melody, and the whole thing builds gradually, powerfully, inevitably, and crests with a big golden payoff note. Three new albums would seem to be aimed at that need: Canadian chanteuse Celine Dion's Let's Talk About Love (550 Music), vocal power lifter Michael Bolton's All That Matters (Columbia) and Barbra Streisand's Higher Ground (Columbia). These performers are of differing ages, but they are all from the old school. When they sing, they often go for the cheap seats, the rafters, the chandeliers. They evoke thoughts of shattering wineglasses and standing ovations and encores that go on and on until one's palms are sore from clapping. Our cynical side knows their albums are designed primarily to move units; our innocent side hopes against hope that they, nonetheless, will move us as well.

AFFECTATIONS WITHOUT END

Dion seems to have adopted the sound that Mariah Carey abandoned several years back--that crushing, crashing, pomp-and-circumstance style that seeks to swallow the listener up in production and emotion. The main problem with Let's Talk About Love is that Dion's sense of dynamics is only a trifle more refined than Saddam Hussein's sense of international protocol. She doesn't build songs, she demolishes them, she overruns them, like Caesar conquering Gaul. Oh, she tries to rein herself in, but to no avail. The song The Reason starts off gently, then, out of nowhere, Dion starts to shriek. The reason? Because she can.

On another song, I Hate You Then I Love You, Dion makes the mistake of having opera star Luciano Pavarotti join her in a duet. Now, inviting Pavarotti to sing a fluff-headed pop song is like asking Picasso to paint your house--it's just not practical. Pavarotti's big, clear tenor easily trumps Dion's showy yelp, and he doesn't stop there--he goes on to overwhelm the song's flitty lyrics and thrash its slight melody. Final score: Pavarotti: 3, Song: 0, Dion: 0. And while we're at it, give Dion a zero for this album too.

ANIMATION WITHOUT SOUL

Listening to Bolton sing is a little bit like how one imagines it must be to get chewed out by New York Jets football coach Bill Parcells--only with guitars. Bolton is one of those guys who, even when he's singing softly, SEEMS TO BE SINGING IN CAPITAL LETTERS. He invests nearly every phrase of every song with unbearable, unearned emotion, and several of the songs are cluttered with heavy-metalish guitar asides that seem lifted from Spinal Tap B sides. The last song on this album, Go the Distance, is a fitting closer. It's from the animated movie Hercules, and every line has the two-dimensionality of a cartoon.

AFFECTION WITHOUT INSPIRATION

Streisand has one of those voices that can take you places. Go back and check out her 1970 rendition of the title song from her movie musical On a Clear Day You Can See Forever: it makes you feel eligible for frequent-flyer miles. Streisand also has that rare ability to make show-biz emotions seem sincere; when she hits those big payoff notes, she doesn't do it just because she can; she does it because the song calls for it, because the big note she's holding is the only way to express what she's feeling. Higher Ground, unfortunately, is more of a low-lying plateau. It's an album of spiritually oriented "inspirational" songs--a hot genre right now, given LeAnn Rimes' hit collection of similarly themed material. Higher Ground, for its part, is a little too polite. Streisand's at her best on the track On Holy Ground: her voice scales the song, rising above the piano and the organ and the gospel choir, and at the climax hits a decisive, optimistic end note. She would have done well to have left off the song Tell Him, a duet with Dion that appears on both their albums. Streisand's too good to share billing with Dion. Hopefully, Streisand's next album will be a more fitting showcase for her transporting talents.