Coming Of Age

By Andrea Sachs

Baby boomers are not aging gracefully. We're fighting it every step of the way, making the War on Aging a national crusade, dedicating some of our nation's greatest scientific minds and medical talents to developing new forms of cosmetic surgeries, new exercise contraptions, new diets, new miracle fabrics that camouflage and contain, and all manner of expensive new anti-aging ointments. --Bill Geist, The Big Five-Oh! Facing, Fearing, and Fighting Fifty

When they were 18 years old, their rites of passage into adulthood--civil rights protest, the war in Vietnam, the counterculture--filled the nation's front pages. When they finally married and began families--often much later than their own parents--their family issues became the stuff of sitcoms. Throughout their now advancing lives, the baby boomers have always stood at the demographic center of American life. Their concerns have been the dominant concerns, their passions the dominant passions. So it stands to reason that as the baby-boom generation begins its massive sweep into old age, the age-old problems of this transition into seniority are being rediscovered and re-examined as never before. These are banner years for books about "the elder passage," as writer Robert Raines has labeled it. The spate of material ranges from guides on how to avoid the ravages of aging, to manuals on turning 50, to how-to books on dealing with aging parents and to--the ultimate boomer topic--volumes on death, the one transition that this most youth-oriented generation has been denying since day one.

THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH

Baby boomers have traditionally wanted it all, so why not eternal youth? As the "gray-by boomers" cross the 50-year line in record numbers, they are lapping up a freshet of books about how to turn back the clock. Life expectancy in the U.S. is at an all-time high. A newborn boy can expect to reach 73.4 years, and a newborn girl 79.3. But extensions of the average life span apparently just make us greedy for a longer, healthier life. That's where fountain-of-youth books come in. Depending upon the author, they promise to help you live longer--to 100 or even beyond.

The covers of books in this genre are too often tarted up with sensational titles and exaggerated claims. But once you get beyond the dust jacket, much of the advice, while hardly earthshaking, tends toward the irrefutable. Who doesn't believe that you're likely to live longer if you eat in a healthy fashion and exercise sensibly? Dipping into these pages can be like having a personal trainer. Whatever your age, they make you feel like jumping out of your chair and running a lap or two. Each author has a favorite technique. But those looking for a miracle will be disappointed. Every program requires careful diet and exercise, not to mention an end to smoking. Caveat emptor: Ponce de Leon never found the fountain of youth, and you probably won't either. But a little reading won't hurt.

Age Protectors: Stop Aging Now, a 500-page compendium edited by Edward Claflin (Rodale), gives a dozen "stop-time tactics" to push back the clock, such as lists of "superfoods" to eat (broccoli and kidney beans) and exercise tips (do the aerobically beneficial waltz rather than the stand-in-one-place Macarena). The book is full of realistic dietary tricks that add up to many forgone calories. For example, "beware of gourmet cappuccinos and mochaccinos made with full-fat milk." Ask for skim milk instead, and you'll never notice the difference. And put fruits and veggies at eye level in your refrigerator so they're the first things you see.

Feel 30 for the Next 50 Years by David W. Johnson (Avon) stresses that it's not enough merely to extend your life span; it's the youth span that's critical. "Youth span refers only to the number of years we live in good health, with high energy, strength and mobility, and with vigorous mental, sensory and sexual powers," Johnson says. He points to the readily observable fact that at a college reunion, some people have aged more than others: "You do not need to be a molecular biologist to conclude that something (or some things) other than simply the passage of time determines the rate at which we age." And it's not simply a matter of genes, says the author. Johnson prescribes a regimen of supplements, hormones, vitamins and antioxidants in addition to dietary guidelines, exercise and stress-reduction techniques, to achieve that younger-than-the-class-of-'68 look.

Dr. Michael Roizen, chairman of critical care at the University of Chicago and author of RealAge: Are You as Young as You Can Be? (HarperCollins), echoes the same theme. "We really can slow the pace of aging--and even reverse it," he writes. Roizen shows how our choices affect the quality of our old age. "Eating that hamburger will make you older tomorrow than if you ate that salad today. And you will be younger tomorrow if you exercise today." Some suggestions are bromide-simple: wear a seat belt, take an aspirin a day, floss your teeth daily. Others are more intriguing: Enjoy (safe) sex frequently. "By making simple decisions, you can take your foot off the gas pedal," says Roizen, "and slow down your rate of aging."

Other simple decisions involve pushing yourself away from the dining table. If you follow the advice given in certain fountain-of-youth books, the authors promise, you will shed pounds as well as years. Elizabeth Somer, a dietitian who has written Age-Proof Your Body: Your Complete Guide to Lifelong Vitality (Morrow), stresses that the most important longevity goal is active-life expectancy, "the maximum number of healthy, disease-free years a person can expect to have." To that end, she gives readers a number of diet and exercise pointers. Readers are advised to replace coffee with green tea once or twice a day in order to reduce the risk of cancer.

Dr. Julian Whitaker, the editor of Health and Healing, and Carol Colman, the authors of Shed 10 Years in 10 Weeks (Simon & Schuster), think that if you're going to be eating, you should concentrate on the essentials. They believe that U.S. government RDAs (recommended daily allowances) of vitamins and minerals are inadequate. Instead, the authors recommend what they have named the ODA (optimal daily allowance) of those vital substances, supplemented with New Age natural nostrums, such as omega-3 oils and ginkgo biloba. Some of their suggestions are old wine in new cooler bottles: potato chips, cookies and cakes are deemed age "accelerators" while fruits and vegetables are reincarnated as "rejuvenators."

Two tried-and-true leaders in promoting healthy eating are coming out with their own fountain-of-youth books. The Zone Diet was a national craze a few years ago. Its creator, Barry Sears, has sold more than 3 million copies of his book The Zone. His latest is The Anti-Aging Zone (ReganBooks), which promises that Zone techniques like rigorous calorie restriction will keep you not only slim but also young. Another widely known health-food guru-cum-radio personality, Gary Null (The New Vegetarian Cookbook), will be publishing How to Live Forever: The Ultimate Anti-Aging Program (Kensington) in February. "Age is only a number," insists Null, who claims his program can eliminate wrinkles, gray hair and fatigue.

THE 50-YEAR DASH

Between now and 2014, about 81 million baby boomers will celebrate their 50th birthday. That may have something to do with the number of books being published about hitting the half-century mark. Any of these books is a perfect milestone birthday gift.

Male writers seem more comfortable in announcing their 50th birthday, in such books as Dave Barry Turns 50 (Crown); The Big Five-Oh! Facing, Fearing, and Fighting Fifty by Bill Geist (Quill) and The 50 Year Dash: The Feelings, Foibles and Fears of Being Half a Century Old, by Bob Greene (Doubleday). The books are all similar: a series of rat-a-tat gags about failing eyesight, flagging libido and fading memories. But contemporaries will relate.

A female variant is Fifty on Fifty: Wisdom, Inspiration, and Reflections on Women's Lives Well Lived (Warner). Author Bonnie Miller Rubin, a reporter at the Chicago Tribune, interviews 50 well-known women, including Hillary Rodham Clinton, Jane Fonda and Erica Jong, about their lives and thoughts at the half-century mark. The first impulse is to ask what a 50-year-old celebrity can tell me. A lot, it turns out. As syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman tells Rubin, "You don't make it to 50 without having had your head handed to you." Survival, they say, means hanging tough and following your dreams. And you have to respect a group of women who are willing to publicly acknowledge their dates of birth. It brings to mind Gloria Steinem's famous retort when someone told her she didn't look 50: "This is what 50 looks like."

PAUSING FOR MENOPAUSE

For women, midlife generally means an end to their childbearing years: The average American woman goes through menopause at 51, which female boomers are reaching in record numbers. Now they can read as they go. More than a dozen new books on menopause are hitting the market. A particularly good one is the American Medical Association's Essential Guide to Menopause (Pocket), which takes an authoritative, commonsense approach. The material, clearly presented and informative, helps women weigh the pros and cons of hormone replacement therapy (HRT), and explains physical symptoms. Another helpful book is Menopause: A Guide to Health and Happiness by Dr. James Huston (Facts on File), which even contains a chapter for men, to help them understand the changes they and their partner are going through.

Hormone replacement is the topic of the moment, and readers can take their pick of numerous books that debate the issue. They include The Estrogen Answer Book by Ruth Jacobowitz (Little, Brown); Dr. Susan Love's Hormone Book (Times Books) and HRT by Dr. Miriam Stoppard (DK Publishing). The Estrogen Alternative by Dr. Steven Goldstein (Putnam) explores the new estrogen substitutes known as selective estrogen receptor modulators, or SERMS. For the woman who decides against HRT, Stoppard has written Natural Menopause (DK Publishing). Menopause and Madness: The Truth About Estrogen and the Mind by Marcia Lawrence (Andrews McMeel) explores the emotional problems that some menopausal women experience and offers advice on what to do about such difficulties.

THE PARENTAL PASSAGE

The most painful epiphany in understanding the aging process often comes in dealing with a parent's infirmities or death. Do I Know You? Living Through the End of a Parent's Life by Bette Ann Moskowitz (Kodansha) captures the poignancy of a parent's decline. She describes her mother's slide into senility and the decision to put her into a nursing home. In this candid, daring book, the author examines her feelings about her mother's incontinence and confusion and bravely admits her own ambivalence about her mother's compromised life. Mary Pipher, the psychologist who wrote Reviving Ophelia, the best-selling book about adolescent girls, has turned her talents to the question of aging parents in Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders, which will be published in March by Riverhead (see accompanying excerpt).

BEARING WITNESS

The most affecting of all the books on aging are by those already in their 70s and 80s. A Time to Live: Seven Steps of Creative Aging by Robert Raines (Plume) is useful to both those who are younger and those who are, in Raines' phrase, in their "elder season." Raines is an ordained minister, but this, his 13th book, is poetic, psychological and spiritual rather than religious. He does not sidestep the heartaches of aging but insists we can find meaning in them. "As we grieve our losses and suffer our heartache," he writes, "sorrow may darken and enrich our life, and in some way not yet understood, disallow self-pity, make our fate acceptable, and increase our compassion for others."

When it comes to bearing witness, no American President worked harder than Jimmy Carter, and so it somehow seems appropriate that the 39th President, now 74, has become a guru of his latest stage of life. His book The Virtues of Aging (Ballantine) has become a best seller because of its unpretentious wisdom. Carter writes about how he and his wife Rosalynn have adjusted to getting older, even addressing their sex life. ("Rosalynn and I have learned to accommodate each other's desires more accurately and generously.") Not surprisingly, their retirement is busier than the entire careers of most younger people (Carter's mother Miss Lillian set the example: she joined the Peace Corps and went to India at 68). Carter uses his political background to write knowingly of government policy toward seniors. And, like others of his generation, Carter has known the sad side of growing older: he is the last of his siblings still alive.

Renowned psychologist Albert Ellis and co-author Emmett Velten challenge the orthodoxies of aging in Optimal Aging: Get Over Getting Older (Open Court). Ellis' smart, contrarian thinking will inspire many. "Ageism is a crucial fact of life in our culture, and talking openly about it is taboo. Older people--and you--had better break the taboo, not just with talk but with action. We had better do something about it."

THE FINAL CHAPTER

No topic is likely to be more controversial, or more au courant, in coming years than death. And Jack Kevorkian will not have the last word. Dr. Daniel Tobin's views of dying as a natural part of living were shaped when, as a third-year medical student, he watched a frail, 88-year-old man, near death, plead unsuccessfully with doctors to go home rather than face another battery of invasive tests. Tobin went on to found the FairCare program for peaceful dying in Albany, N.Y. His new book is Peaceful Dying: The Step-by-Step Guide to Preserving Your Dignity, Your Choice, and Your Inner Peace at the End of Life (Perseus), written with Karen Lindsey. In it, he writes, "The emotions of dying are intense, difficult and varied. But they are not necessarily terrible; indeed, sometimes they are incredibly beautiful, and even at times extremely happy. I always consider how our culture's overwhelming fear of death blots out that reality: we rarely achieve a whole view of dying, which encompasses every emotion." He believes suicide is never the best choice, focusing instead on pain relief. His determina- tion to ensure a peaceful end to life may be reassuring to those baby boomers who remain determined not to age gracefully.