Michelle Williams

By Joel Stein

Michelle Williams co-stars in Dick, the new film comedy about Watergate, and is also a regular on TV's Dawson's Creek.

Q. When they cast Harry Shearer as G. Gordon Liddy in Dick, did you think to yourself, "Who's G. Gordon Liddy?"

A. No. I grew up in a very political household. My father is a big conspiracy theorist. He's really wacked.

Q. That's right--you grew up in Montana. How many guns does your dad have?

A. I will not answer that question.

Q. Wow. How psyched is your dad on Y2K?

A. I haven't talked to him about it. I remember his being ecstatic when the government shut down [during the 1995 budget standoff]. He said, "This is the beginning of the end. Just wait, Michelle."

Q. So who would you rather sleep with: Haldeman or Liddy?

A. When I think of Liddy, all that comes up in my head is Harry Shearer. I'm going to have to go with Haldeman.

Q. Does anyone over 18 recognize you?

A. Yes.

Q. Not including prison inmates?

A. Well, yes. Older men really respond well to the nymphomaniac 16-year-old.

Q. You refused to go to the reshoot for the cover of Maxim magazine because they tried to make you look too slutty. Had you never seen Maxim?

A. I had seen one, but I had just seen the cover. I never really looked inside.

Q. They'll bring in breast models.

A. Really? I have great breasts.

Q. It's comments like "I have great breasts" that get you Lolita-ized.

A. I don't mean, like, "I-have-great-breasts-come-touch-them-feel-them." I feel very uncomfortable about my body, so I was trying to brush that off with sarcasm.

Q. But the quote I'll use is, "I have great breasts. Come touch them. Feel them."

A. See, I need to learn how to handle this much better. But you wouldn't do that.

Q. Me? I'm harmless. Ask anybody.

--By Joel Stein