Your Family

By David Bjerklie

MID-LIFE SPLITS Men and women who divorce in middle age go their separate ways in more ways than one. According to a recent study, women become more assertive, gregarious and optimistic, while men get demoralized and depressed. Study co-author Paul Costa cautions that more research is needed to explain why. Who divorced whom and who gets what may be factors, says Costa, but the phenomenon may be unique to this generation of first-wave baby boomers.

FIRE ALARM Kids who play with matches are usually just exercising their curiosity--albeit in a spectacularly dangerous way. But for some kids, setting fires is a way of dealing with anger. And these children, says Pat Mieszala of Burn Concerns, are likely to keep on setting fires. It's a tough problem for parents to address, but counseling is available. A place to start: the National Arson Prevention Clearinghouse, 888-603-3100.

THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD As far as you're concerned, you're successfully juggling work and family roles and have your priorities in place. But what do your kids think? A new book by Ellen Galinsky of the Families and Work Institute looks at how kids assess their parents' efforts to have it all. The book, Ask the Children: What America's Children Really Think About Working Parents, which comes out next month, shows that children keenly feel their parents' level of satisfaction or discontent in balancing work and family and reflect it in their own attitudes.

--By David Bjerklie