Will Write for Food

By Harriet Barovick, Matthew Cooper, Autumn De Leon, Andrew Goldstein, Daniel S. Levy, Lina Lofaro, Desa Philadelphia, Chris Taylor

September is book-party season in New York City. But starving authors who used to move from shindig to shindig to get fed are finding the pickings a bit slim. Publishers have wearied of the big book launch, and now regard it as an unnecessary expense. Before this peculiar cultural event becomes obsolete, Notebook brings you a sociological study:

PARTY FOR: John McCain's Faith of My Fathers

WHERE: The Bloomberg News computer-training room

MOST FAMOUS GUEST: Henry Kissinger

GOSSIP WRITER: Cindy Adams

HOT TOPIC: The National Committee on U.S.-China relations dinner

TABOO TOPIC: Other candidates

SPREAD: Classy: champagne and seafood hors d'oeuvres

OVERHEARD: "I'm waiting for Graydon Carter to publish my story on him" (Carl Bernstein on McCain)

AUTHOR PLUG: "I want to inspire young Americans to commit to causes greater than themselves. It's very redemptive for imperfect people...like me."

[PARTY FOR:] Frank McCourt's 'Tis

[WHERE:] The Campbell Apartment, a neo-gothic bar

[MOST FAMOUS GUEST:] Angela's Ashes star Emily Watson

[GOSSIP WRITER:] None

[HOT TOPIC:] How hot the bar was; how nasty the rain was

[TABOO TOPIC:] Reviews for 'Tis

[SPREAD:] Liquid: open bar and hors d'oeuvres

[OVERHEARD:] "Frank said he'd read my article. He didn't say he liked it. He just said he'd read it."

[AUTHOR PLUG:] "I just wanted to show the spiritual, emotional and psychological effects of being brought up in Limerick and moving to America."

[PARTY FOR:] Sandra Brown's The Alibi

[WHERE:] Della Femina, posh East Side restaurant

[MOST FAMOUS GUEST:] Designer Arnold Scaasi

[GOSSIP WRITER:] Liz Smith

[HOT TOPIC:] How full everyone's schedule was

[TABOO TOPIC:] No such thing

[SPREAD:] Lavish: fancy drinks, seafood and cheeses

[OVERHEARD:] "We did Rocky Mountains, Vail...the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park..."

[AUTHOR PLUG:] "I write to entertain people, so...anyone looking for a good juicy read would pick up a Sandra Brown novel."

[PARTY FOR:] Esther Williams' Million Dollar Mermaid

[WHERE:] Elaine's, famous literary haunt

[MOST FAMOUS GUEST:] Gloria Vanderbilt

[GOSSIP WRITER:] Liz Smith

[HOT TOPIC:] How to keep mascara from running in the pool

[TABOO TOPIC:] Esther revealed all

[SPREAD:] Nongourmet: wine bar and carbohydrate-heavy buffet

[OVERHEARD:] "Did Hollywood treat you well?" (posed to Fay Wray); "How's the acting going?" (posed to a young stud)

[AUTHOR PLUG:] "I wanted to dislodge that image of me being homespun."