6:00 P.M. Teen Romance

By Flora Tartakovsky

Were it not for his love of Rollerblading and her occasional pigtails, Peter Vishion and Sally Roth would do a good imitation of a suburban married couple. She does the laundry; he does the dishes. Tonight he's in the oak-trimmed kitchen making grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner, before they settle down in front of The Simpsons to eat and do homework. They have known each other since sixth grade, been a couple for one year, and when Peter's parents are out of town, like this week, they move in together. Sally's mother approves. But Sally has some doubts about this advanced-placement course in commitment. "If you spend too much time with somebody, it gets old," she says. "I missed home. When you don't spend too much time together, it gets to be more fun when you do see them."

Could this pass for a date in Webster Groves? "No," says Sally. "It's just hanging out." When she and Peter do venture out, it's usually in a crowd. This baffles parents whose lessons in courtship were one-on-one. "If you have a date, you go meet him with everybody else," says parent Kay Johnson. "They never go out to the movies, but that's so much fun and I just don't get it." For the students, grabbing dinner and a movie as a first date is unusual. "If a guy asked me out to dinner," says senior Gale Cammon, "I wouldn't know what to say. That would be so formal." She has been dating her boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. They started out as friends.

That's the standard path to romance, a reflection of a communion between boys and girls who treat each other as pals. Most of the students here have known one another since elementary school, and close friendships often lead to relationships. At parties where couples are present, one is hard pressed to figure out who is with whom. "People are very casual. Mainly we'll go out and do something together, including people who are a couple and people who are just friends," says junior Leslie Chicoineau. As a result, the line between friend and romantic interest often becomes blurred. "There are a lot of people who hook up for a one-night fling and just go back to being friends," says Gale. It's not hard, since "they pretty much know what they're getting into when it happens."

They also don't feel pressed to do more than they're ready for. In a survey by the student newspaper last year, half the seniors said they were sexually active, but students say there's no pressure to lose one's virginity. "People don't make fun of virgins at all," says junior James Wetton. "It's kind of respected." Even among the "Dive Team," a group of six upper-class males whose name has nothing to do with swimming, half the members say they have never had sex.

Their standards for virginity, though, are generous. Almost all the students, for example, take a Clintonian approach to oral sex. "You can't get a girl pregnant by having oral sex," says Peter. "In Webster, in St. Louis, oral sex is not sex. It's just foreplay."

Although there were 10 pregnancies and 20 sexually transmitted diseases reported to the school nurse last year, the students do take precautions--and some feel comfortable talking to their parents about sex. "I told [my mom] the first time I had sex. She wasn't mad at all," says Sally. "She was excited for me and told me to be careful and all." Peter isn't as open with his parents. "They pretty much think that that's none of their business just as long as I'm being careful and using protection," he says. Once, though, his mom offered to buy condoms for him.

If that's too embarrassing, he can turn to his friend's mother. She keeps a stockpile handy for the kids, diligently replenishing it once a month. She might be pleased to know that students are having protected sex no matter where they are. Building supervisor Frank Schaffer says that every so often his crews find used condoms in the corridors, stairways or the attic above Roberts Gym. "At least they're using them," he says.

Sally and Gale have discussed what will happen to their relationships after graduation. Sally plans to move to Los Angeles for design school, while Peter will stay in Missouri. They'll probably have to split. "What are you going to do?" Sally asks. Gale shrugs. She could always try dating.

--F.T.