The List

By Val Castronovo, Chen Dan, Daniel S. Levy, Ellin Martens, Julie Rawe, Chris Taylor and Josh Tyrangiel

The 350-lb. Jose Martinez, a.k.a. "Fat Jose," accused of being one of New Mexico's largest drug dealers, won a motion barring his alias from being used in the trial. Some more palatable suggestions:

--Soft and Cuddly Jose --Thyroid-Problem Jose