Steven Van Zandt

By Joel Stein

Little Steven Van Zandt, the guitarist for Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, has a new solo album and plays Silvio Dante on HBO's The Sopranos.

Q. Your Sopranos character runs the Bada Bing, a strip bar. When you were working on your character, did your wife buy the research excuse for your trips to Scores?

A. Yes, she's very understanding. She qualifies for sainthood.

Q. How many of those Mafia guys on The Sopranos aren't really acting?

A. Are any? The scary moment was before the first show aired, as to what the critical response would be. And I'm not referring to critics. Thank God, everybody likes the show.

Q. What's up with the bandanna? Is the Propecia just not kicking in?

A. Without that, how would I act? I get to look completely different, and people don't know it's me. It's become a way of making a living.

Q. Did you take the bandanna off when you addressed the Senate about funding dictatorships?

A. Of course not. I wanted to make the point that freaks can do their homework too.

Q. How about the United Nations?

A. No. The head of the United Nations took one look at me, and all of a sudden a crisis in the Philippines occurred, so he had to leave.

Q. Did you have trouble getting dates when women found out your nickname was "Little"?

A. No. You just keep those expectations low, babe.

Q. You wrote a song for the Home Alone 2 sound track. Gambling debts?

A. Yeah. It was a card game with Chris Columbus, the director.

Q. As an activist, what's the most obscure publication you get?

A. My Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting updates.

Q. They never talk about me, do they?

A. I think you have been mentioned, to tell you the truth.

--By Joel Stein