Jamie Foxx

By Joel Stein

Q. Are you on that Andro stuff?

A. No. I wear tight shirts and have smaller people beside me. All the people around me were the size of Mini Me.

Q. Have you worked on your Oscar speech?

A. Yeah. My Oscar Mayer speech. I'm just thanking them for the packs of weenies they gave me and a nice little barbecue.

Q. In The Jamie Foxx Show you play Jamie King. What are you, Tony Danza? You couldn't learn a new first name?

A. I wanted to, but my religion prevented me from doing that. I just have this religion I don't want to go into too deep, but if I use another name, I may not make it into heaven.

Q. I got news for you: your real name is Eric.

A. Yeah, but that was before I changed my religion.

Q. You have an R.-and-B. album coming out. Don't you get enough girls from acting?

A. I get girls from acting, but they're not like singing girls. Acting girls are cute, but they may have molars missing. R.-and-B. girls are more immaculate.

Q. After playing a quarterback in Any Given Sunday, you're not going to pull a Master P and try to go pro?

A. Of course. I'm waiting on the expansion team. Compton is getting a team.

Q. You'd never make it on that team. Did you take any hits from Lawrence Taylor?

A. Yeah, we were just fooling around, but I could tell it would hurt.

Q. So what are you doing in Vegas?

A. Finishing up my drink from last night. This is Vegas. You can't be in Vegas sober.

Q. What are you drinking?

A. Coors Light. I'm from Texas.

Q. It's only 1 p.m. When do you start drinking?

A. As soon as I get off the phone with you.

--By Joel Stein