People

By Michele Orecklin

WHY DEAN MARTIN GOT THE CHICKS

What JERRY LEWIS won't do for the kids. Sure, he insulted women everywhere at a comedy festival last week when he suggested female comics were useful primarily as "producing machine[s]" for babies. But concern that his remarks may hurt his telethon led him to issue an apology days later. "I am told there will be people that will not contribute to 'my kids' because of my indiscretion and to them I say, 'my kids' are innocent... Please accept my humble apology..." And what an apology it was. After praising the "marvelous Phyllis Diller" and the "unpredictable Martha Raye," he rather confusedly added, "When women, doing comedy, do routines written for them by drill sergeants, I take objection. Their filth makes me and many ashamed to be in our business, and to me, women doing anything, especially comedy, are looked upon by me as one of God's great miracles... they can make a baby." And unlike Lewis, sometimes they can even make sense.

THE LOST BOYS

Dashing the marital plans of girls not yet old enough to go steady, two members of the Backstreet Boys announced last week that they had become engaged. Neither BRIAN LITTRELL, 25, at left, nor his cousin KEVIN RICHARDSON, 28, middle, named their fiances, though Littrell will reportedly marry a struggling actress while Richardson's betrothed is said to be a backup dancer for Cher. Fans immediately flooded Internet chat rooms to register shock, disappointment and, in some cases, begrudging goodwill. "I don't necessarily LOVE the idea of bri and big bro kevi kev getting married, but if that's what makes them happy, I'm cool with it," wrote one brave fan. "At least it's not Nick," wrote another, no doubt echoing the relief of millions.

HAIDER HATERS

Can Sting succeed where the European Union has failed? Threats by the E.U. did not prevent Austria from forming a coalition government that includes the party of right-wing politician Jorg Haider, but perhaps the grumblings of a citizenry that has been denied the musical stylings of Sting will prove more effective. He reportedly will follow Lou Reed and cancel Austrian concert dates to protest Haider's policies. Earlier this month, the lead singer of the band Bush chanted a Jewish prayer during a concert in Graz, and the London Times reports some artists are thinking of planning a "Rock Against Haider" boycott. Native son ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER expressed concern, saying, "I am hopeful that Austria will find a way through this. I am so saddened that with all the progress we've made working for an open and tolerant society, one man's statements can taint world opinion of an entire country." More punishment for the embattled nation: so far, Irish hoofer Michael Flatley has no plans to cancel his upcoming tour.

FEUD OF THE WEEK

NAME: Bob ("The Gooch") Guccione Jr. OCCUPATION: Producer of anti-intellectual magazines BEST PUNCH: Listed Spelling as a senior editor in an issue of Gear magazine featuring a semi-nude Jessica Biel, 17, star of the wholesome Spelling-produced show Seventh Heaven

NAME: Aaron ("Spell This") Spelling OCCUPATION: Producer of anti-intellectual TV shows BEST PUNCH: Launched a $100 million lawsuit against Guccione, claiming the masthead listing made it seem as though he approved of and endorsed the Biel pictures

THE WINNER: Jessica Biel, who last week landed a starring role in a feature film