People

By Josh Tyrangiel

NOT WASTING TIME

After nine years of marriage, one kid and one shared cinematic triumph about a man stuck inside Martin Short's intestine, Dennis Quaid and MEG RYAN announced their separation this week. Their shared publicist says the breakup took place six weeks ago and insists no third party was involved. But no sooner had word got out than photos of Ryan and Gladiator's RUSSELL CROWE started popping up. The two met in Ecuador while shooting Proof of Life, a drama in which Crowe plays a hostage negotiator who falls for Ryan, the wife of the captive he's trying to free. Last week the duo were spotted in London at a David Bowie concert and in New York City sharing a cigarette. Within the past three months, Crowe has also been linked to Winona Ryder. It's been a pretty good three months.

WOW! AN ANNA KOURNIKOVA ITEM!

This item contains vital information about ANNA KOURNIKOVA. But first, a rash of strange, non-Kournikova-related doings at Wimbledon. The father of Aussie Jelena Dokic, 17, was hauled off by security after he smashed a reporter's cellular phone, waved a large English flag from a balcony near the player's lounge and unloosed a profane diatribe against Bill Clinton and the British government--all to celebrate his daughter's second-round victory. Imagine the party if Dokic wins the whole thing. Next, Alexandra Stevenson, 19, daughter of Julius Erving, accused two French players of making racial remarks and pulling her baseball cap down over her head at a previous tournament. The women denied making the remarks, and a Women's Tennis Association investigation verified only the hat pulling, so no disciplinary action will be taken. Oh. Kournikova lost in the second round.

DAMN DIRTY GEN-X APE

Cast Keanu Reeves as Moses in The Ten Commandments if you like. Make Freddie Prinze Jr. into the new Judah Ben-Hur. But why, why, why must Hollywood desecrate Charlton Heston's perfect performance as Colonel George Taylor in Planet of the Apes? Mark ("Marky Mark") Wahlberg, 29, signed on this week to fill Heston's giant sandals as the cluelessly histrionic time traveler in Tim Burton's reimagining of the great ape film, tentatively scheduled for a July 4, 2001, release. (Wahlberg has also already committed to the sequel.) Gary Oldman is reportedly being considered for the role of the evil president of the ape assembly. No word if Wahlberg will sport a Calvin Klein loincloth.

CAN THEY GET SHECKY GREEN FOR SHALALA?

Former Treasury Secretary ROBERT RUBIN may not be a juggernaut of personality, but his supervision of the longest sustained economic growth in U.S. history has made him the most beloved Treasury man since...well, ever. (Those stumping for Fred M. Vinson or G. William Miller should just hang it up.) Rubin's retirement apparently hasn't cut into his popularity. His proposed book, mixing business advice and stock tips, is expected to fetch seven figures at an auction this week. So it was no surprise that his official portrait unveiling quickly turned into a Friars' roast, with M.C. Bill Clinton ribbing Rubin about his ignorance of pop culture. "Bob didn't know who B.B. King was. He thought he made air guns." And as for singer Jimmy Buffett, according to Rubin, "Any normal person would say he's Warren Buffett's son."