It Pays To Know

By Daniel Kadlec

For years I have resisted the notion that women have financial-planning needs that are unique to their gender. We all need stocks that go up, don't we? And getting out of debt is important for everyone, isn't it? True, but things aren't quite equal. Thirty years into the feminist movement, breadwinners remain predominantly male. As a consequence, men have a lot less to lose financially in divorce or on the death of a spouse.

I'm talking averages here. In her book It Takes Money, Honey, Georgette Mosbacher, who is both rich and divorced, finds that four times as many widows live in poverty as wives the same age--and of the poor widows, 80% weren't poor while their husbands were alive. Half of all couples who married in the past 20 years will divorce, and a mere 28% of divorced women are granted ongoing financial support. Of those, a third never collect a penny of the alimony or child support due them.

These issues came into focus for me as I marveled at the extraordinary pay package unveiled last week for former GE executive Gary Wendt, the new boss at Conseco, whose high-profile divorce in 1997 became a test for the worth of a dutiful corporate wife. Some would say the position pays quite well, thank you. Lorna Wendt got $20 million in parting. Yet that's barely 15% of her estimate of her husband's net worth at the time. She has appealed and seeks an additional $35 million.

If that sounds greedy, consider her husband's five-year deal to serve as CEO of this beleaguered insurance company. Wendt landed a $45 million signing bonus and a guaranteed bonus of up to $50 million in two years--although he did forfeit some GE incentive money. He will also be getting stock, stock options and, oh yeah, a salary of many millions more. His ex will get none of it. As noted, Lorna Wendt won't go begging. But the man she spent 32 years with is now, just a few years removed, infinitely more wealthy than she.

Fair? We could argue that all day. Clearly, though, the Wendt case shows how women fall behind and points up their greater need to be prepared. Step one is to know the family finances. "Knowledge is power," says lawyer Sarah Oldham, who represents Lorna Wendt. "If you know what's there, you can have input on how it gets spent." And you won't feel helpless in the event of divorce or death. Get a handle on your household income, savings and investments--and know where the records are. Also, make certain your husband is adequately insured and that you are the beneficiary.

The Institute for Equality in Marriage, founded by Lorna Wendt, encourages all women to prepare a prenuptial agreement even if there are no assets. The idea is to put in writing that the marriage is an equal partnership. If your prospective husband doesn't see it that way, you might as well know early.

Make sure family assets like the house, cars and bank and investment accounts are held jointly (or evenly divided), and keep at least one credit card to build credit independent of your husband. Keep up your job skills. Network with friends and others in your field even if you've opted out of the job market. The contacts will come in handy if you need to work again. Even if you don't, you'll probably find being involved is satisfying in itself.

See time.com/personal for more on family finances. E-mail Dan at kadlec@time.com See him on CNNfn Tuesday, 12:20 p.m. E.T.