News Quiz

By Melissa August, Val Castronovo, Rachel Dry, Julie Grace, Ellin Martens, Benjamin Nugent, Michele Orecklin, Julie Rawe, Amanda Ripley, Josh Tyrangiel

1. The WWF's new voter-registration slogan is:

a) Smack Down Your Vote b) A Ventura in Every Statehouse c) Can You Smell What the Electoral College Is Cooking? d) Choose or Lose, Knuckleheads

2. The eatery in this Moscow TV tower is empty because:

a) Eggs Bolshevik is way too Brezhnev b) A fire forced people to evacuate c) Denny's also has a Russian problem d) No gas mask, no helmet, no service

3. Why was Jelena Dokic's father ejected from the U.S. Open?

a) He beat Bud Collins into a pulp b) The ball machine is for tennis balls c) He threw a plate at a cafe worker d) He lost a bet to Mary Pierce's dad

4. Workers at an Australian fish wholesaler found:

a) A bloke's block in a bonzer cod b) Some ninny's noggin as fish num-num c) A man's severed head inside a fish's stomach d) All of the above

5. Which celebrity said, "Being married means I can [pass gas] and eat ice cream in bed"?

a) Elizabeth Taylor b) Mickey Rooney c) Larry King d) Brad Pitt

ANSWERS: 1-a, 2-b, 3-c, 4-d, 5-d