Going Solo

By MEGAN RUTHERFORD

The yearning to see faraway places and the fear of visiting them alone seem to be universal human traits. Whenever travel writer Arthur Frommer gives a lecture and opens the floor to questions, a woman inevitably raises her hand and asks whether a female can safely travel by herself. "I always notice that all the men are leaning forward to catch the answer too," says Frommer. His verdict, for all concerned: an emphatic Yes!

Once fear is conquered, many older adults find they actually prefer traveling solo. Mature Americans, 55 and older, stay away from home the longest, according to the Travel Industry Association of America, and are also the likeliest of all age groups to journey alone or with someone outside their household.

Every couple of years, Dolores Perez Priem, 66, who was widowed 25 years ago, takes a break from her hectic, 14-hour workdays as the owner of a medical-transcription company in San Francisco and embarks on a solitary ramble in a foreign land. This year she's off to northern Europe to look at paintings by Van Gogh and the Dutch masters. "I don't know anyone who would want to spend as much time as I do in a museum looking at these paintings," she says. "And at this point in my life, I want to indulge my interests." Bernice Price, a divorce in her 70s who retired five years ago from her job as a special-ed teacher in New York City, first traveled abroad aboard the original Queen Elizabeth in 1949 on a lavish group grand tour. But her less luxurious solitary journeys in the years since have provided her with some of her most treasured memories. "I've had my best adventures and met the most people traveling by myself," she says.

Of course there are downsides and outright dangers that may discourage some seniors from venturing forth alone. Perhaps the greatest deterrent is the despised single supplement, the practice of charging individuals more than what members of a couple pay for lodgings. But even "Noah's rule," as it is called, has its scofflaws. For some of their programs, Saga International Holidays and Grand Circle Travel--both of which cater to people 50 and older--eliminate the single supplement entirely. For other programs, where single accommodations are unavailable, Saga provides a "guaranteed share," a roommate-matching service for unaccompanied travelers willing to occupy a double room; the single supplement is waived if a match can't be arranged. Elderhostel, the popular purveyor of learning vacations, also offers guaranteed shares--plus activities based on common interests that turn strangers into friends. In addition, a traveler who's willing to book at the last minute can often find bargains on the Internet from hoteliers willing to rent rooms inexpensively rather than let them go empty. Bernice Price has even discovered that some proprietors are willing to negotiate cheaper room rates over the phone.

Sharon Wingler, author of Travel Alone & Love It, is a domestic flight attendant who began taking trips abroad by herself after her divorce 15 years ago. "It takes me out of my everyday existence and makes me feel like I'm a citizen of the world," she says. "As a solo traveler you throw yourself on the mercy of strangers constantly--and someone's always there when you need them. It has restored my faith in humanity."

Still, there can be lonely moments. "If you see something really fantastic," notes Wingler, "there's no one to nudge and say, 'Wow! Look at that!'" Mealtimes are often the hardest. In addition to the self-consciousness many feel when dining alone, restaurant staff members sometimes glare at singles who take up a table that could be producing double the revenue. The solution for lunch: eat before or after the midday rush. At a slack time, a restaurant will welcome the single customer and provide more efficient and personal service to boot. For dinners, have the concierge at your hotel make a reservation; restaurant personnel will go out of their way to be hospitable, since they'll want future referrals from that concierge.

Whenever you feel lonely on the road, write a letter describing your itinerary, advises Eleanor Berman, author of Traveling Solo. "It will sound wonderful to someone at home, and it will lift your spirits to write it." It's also worth noting that loneliness can be preferable to unwelcome attention. Mature women who last traveled alone in their youth may take comfort in the fact that they no longer elicit as many unwanted sexual overtures as they once did.

Even the normal hazards of travel that afflict everyone can make solo travelers feel particularly vulnerable. To reduce the misery and inconvenience of falling ill far from home, singles should be sure to pack basic medicines. Wingler suggests eating yogurt every day for a couple of weeks before a trip abroad. "It helps build up the friendly bacteria in the intestinal system," she says. Well before departing the U.S., check with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for health advisories about the region you'll be visiting, and make sure you have all the recommended vaccinations. Buy medical insurance that covers you overseas (the Original Medicare Plan does not). Anyone traveling alone to a remote area of an undeveloped country should consider evacuation insurance as well.

Such precautions should not daunt the traveler-to-be. Dolores Priem still gets a frisson of excitement when she recalls her visit to Morocco in the '70s. "In Tangier, I had a profound awareness of being completely removed from Western civilization. It was like stepping back in time 1,000 years. It was a very powerful sensation, because I wasn't distracted by fellow Western travelers." Indeed, many singles extol the advantages of immersing themselves in another culture, without the comments or presence of a companion to dilute the experience.

At the same time, it is wise to guard against the predations of pickpockets and con men. Try to dress so that you blend in with the locals. Fanny packs may be handy, and white athletic shoes may be what you wear at home, but single-travel expert Wingler says both are like neon signs announcing your tourist status. They may make you a victim waiting to be scammed. Don't carry anything valuable, and don't wear gold.

Packing light is key. "No one's going to see you every day, so you don't need as many clothes, and it's important to be able to manage your own luggage," says Berman. "Travel is not a fashion show," adds Phyllis Stoller, a longtime solo traveler and president of the Women's Travel Club, which organizes package tours for women. Carry only what's necessary for your day's outing in a front or inside pocket or in a shoulder bag that fits securely under your arm. Or try out one of the wide array of devices available now in travel catalogs, including money belts that zip on the inside, document holsters that fit beneath a jacket, slips that have zippered hems.

Experts say the best travel bargain is not cheap airfare or a cut-rate hotel room but rather a good guidebook with up-to-date street maps and tips about local ripoffs that target tourists. Plot your day's itinerary in advance, so you know where you're going and how to get there. Don't assume you're safe because you're in a crowd; the bustle and confusion surrounding ticket lines at tourist sites simplify a thief's job. Finally, pace yourself. Travelers tend to relax their vigilance when they're exhausted.

Through all the ups and downs of your journey, it's important to maintain a spirit of adventure--though not everyone will be able to match Bernice Price's pluck. Several years ago, the Rome apartment she was staying in was burglarized. She wanted to move out but became engaged in a battle with the landlord before she was able to obtain a partial refund of the rent she'd prepaid. Rather than let the mishap ruin her stay, she savored the drama it provided. "It was exciting because I had to face so many issues," she says. "It was like an Italian tragicomedy." Two years ago in London, she came down with the flu and was referred to a local physician, who turned out to be a homeopathic practitioner. Some Americans might have been aghast. Not Bernice. She underwent treatment, which was effective if unorthodox, and relishes recounting the tale: "It was fascinating. It really added to the trip."

Experts advise wistful, would-be wanderers to build up their travel muscles by degrees. Start out by having a meal alone at a local restaurant. Then try a day trip to another town or city, visiting the sights and eating lunch and dinner there. After that, take a group tour to a more distant destination, and arrange to spend a few days at the end traveling alone. The next time you get the travel bug, you may feel ready to skip the tour entirely and head off on your own.

Single seniors who long to travel but want to share the expenses and experiences should consider joining the Travel Companion Exchange. This highly regarded service uses in-depth personal profiles to match up like-minded travelers within its active database of 2,500 members. But if you're a single who treasures your unmarried state, beware. TCE is so skilled at creating compatible pairings that at least 800 of its 16,000 clients since 1982 have become permanent partners. Neither Sherry Winder, 60, a divorced ice-skating teacher from Arlington, Va., nor David Cook, 64, a divorced computer programmer from Colorado Springs, Colo., had any desire to remarry. Both stated in their TCE profiles that they were willing to share a room with a member of the opposite sex but sought platonic relationships only--separate beds, please. Alas, the two were wed Sept. 1, after traveling together to Yellowstone, the Netherlands and London.