Election 2000 Your Final Exam

By Harriet Barovick, Amanda Bower, Val Castronovo, Matthew Cooper, Daniel Levy, Ellin Martens, Benjamin Nugent, Michele Orecklin, Josh Tyrangiel

1. Where was James Baker headed when he received the call asking him to go to Florida to supervise the recount?

a To the Vitalis factory for monthly industrial application b To go hunting with King Juan Carlos of Spain and former Prez Bush c To the Death Star d He was already in West Palm, cruising for sweet Estelle Getty-style action

2. George W. Bush's first-ever quote in the New York Times was:

a "Only a cigarette burn," referring to the brand his fraternity gave to new pledges, in 1967 b "Why do you keep writing things down?" to a Times reporter in 1998 c "Freebird!" at a Marshall Tucker Band show, in 1974 d "Was it not Shakespeare's King Richard III who said, 'So wise so young, they say, do never live long'?" in 1993

3. The Supreme Court, in its opinion, argued that:

a Underwear beneath robes is totally unconstitutional b The Florida ruling violated equal protection and due process c David Boies' hairline is even higher than Helen Hunt's d They can make anyone they want the President

4. This man is:

a Examining a disputed ballot b Looking at the only vote Moochie Norris got for All-Star starting point guard c Losing hair as you look at him d Freaked out by nude photos of Dom DeLuise

5. Al Gore will now:

a Go back to Tennessee and mend fences b Wander aimlessly around the country with a calculator and pad asking, "Did you vote for me?" c Be longed for by the American public d Hang out with second-string Jewish sidekick Art Garfunkel

6. Which of the following was Al Gore's campaign slogan?

a The Less-Spoiled Spoiled White Guy b Hottest First Daughters Ever c I'll Look Great on Money d Fighting for Us

7. Whom did Al Gore hire as a special consultant, and why?

a Lou Brock, to help him get a good lead b Naomi Wolf, to transform him into an alpha male c Naomi Judd, just to keep her close d Don Cornelius, to help him get funky

8. The day after the election, George W. Bush:

a Administered numerous purple nurples to Jeb b Listened to Joni Mitchell's Chalk Mark in a Rainstorm over and over and over again c Developed a Texas-size boil on his cheek d Wondered aloud if he could still have an Inauguration party, since it would be a shame for all those shiny balloons to go to waste

9. Jesse Jackson is:

a Uncomfortable being so close to the bushes b Trying to book himself on Blues Clues c Coordinating a march on the Florida state capitol d Still protesting

Answers: 1b. 2a. 3b. 4a. 5a. 6d. 7b. 8c. 9c.