Teller

By Joel Stein

Teller, of the magic duo Penn & Teller, wrote When I'm Dead All This Will Be Yours.

Q. So do you talk?

A. Never.

Q. This is going to be a long, painful interview, huh?

A. There's a wonderful conspiracy that we will all pretend that Teller never talks. I was once in Times Square, and a cop stuck out his nightstick, hit me right in the chest and said, "Name?" And I said, "Teller." He nudged his partner and said, "See. I told you I could make him talk."

Q. Once you get started, you don't stop, huh?

A. You can't shut me up.

Q. What hurts more: having a washing machine dropped on your head, getting run over by an 18-wheeler or standing next to Penn once he works up a sweat?

A. I've made enough money standing next to a sweating Penn that it's really no hardship at all.

Q. David Copperfield went out with Claudia Schiffer; David Blaine dates models. What kind of talent are you pulling?

A. I live a private life as well as a public life, and I don't exploit one for the other.

Q. To me, that says you're not doing that well.

A. Take it as you want.