People

By Josh Tyrangiel

AND I WILL ALWAYS...UH, HOW'S THAT GO?

Whitney Houston may not have a drug problem, but she definitely has some serious short-term-memory issues. Last November, Houston and Hawaiian prosecutors reached a plea agreement to set aside drug-possession charges stemming from an incident in which Houston was found with marijuana in her handbag by Keahole-Kona International Airport police. All Houston had to do was pay a $1,000 fine, donate $3,000 to an organization suspiciously named Big Island Wave Riders Against Drugs and submit to a substance-abuse assessment within three months. For some reason, Houston never did get that assessment. Now prosecutors have asked a judge to reopen the charges against her. If convicted, Houston could be singing the jailhouse blues for up to 30 days. On the brighter side, if she has to serve, there's a likelihood that she'll forget the whole experience a few days later.

GREENSPAN IS TOTALLY JEALOUS

Ric Ocasek, David Copperfield and Donald Trump are all first-ballot Hall of Famers in the "Weird-Looking Guy with Gorgeous Model" celebrity- romance competition, but a rumored new matchup could top them all. The hot gossip out of the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, last week was that GENE SPERLING, former director of the National Economic Council, is something of an item with supermodel NAOMI CAMPBELL. The duo attended the forum's gala soiree arm in arm, and Sperling, 40, even issued the standard non-denial denial: "We're just friends." To be fair, Sperling is not all aggregate demand and no play. A few years ago, W magazine named him "one of the hottest catches on the Washington social scene" and "an unusually likable policy wonk." Campbell, 30, has been linked to Joseph Fiennes, Robert De Niro and U2's Adam Clayton, among others. She is also known to cause rapid GDP growth and demand-pull inflation.

At Wounded Knee

Pete Sampras played a U.S. Open tennis match while vomiting. Willis Reed limped to an NBA championship on a withered ankle. By comparison, TIGER WOODS, whose sport requires leisurely walking and the occasional poke at an inanimate ball, just had a little knee ouchy. But with a horde of cameras following him, Woods' triumph over minor injury was quickly elevated to the stuff of Olympic tearjerkers. Leaving the 18th green at Pebble Beach, Calif., after practice last Wednesday, Woods accidentally stepped on the ankle of a voracious autograph seeker, spraining his left knee. With the eager fan screaming at him for not signing, Woods retreated to the trainer's room, gloomily setting his odds of playing in the Pebble Beach Pro-Am as slim. But when tee time came the next day, Tiger was there, bravely playing through the pain on his way to a six under par 66. "It felt sore, yes," said Woods. "But when it's time to play, it's time to play." Spoken like a true golfer.

IT REALLY BEGS FOR ROGER CORMAN

With all his concerns about legacy, you'd think Bill Clinton might choose a noted patriot and mythologizer like Steven Spielberg to direct his biopic. Instead he tapped WES CRAVEN, the man behind Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street. Craven was enlisted to direct a hastily arranged White House shoot on Jan. 13 in which Clinton conducted a three-hour tour of the Oval Office, Cabinet room and residence. The finished product will be screened at Clinton's yet to be constructed presidential library. "Here I am, I've made some of the most horrific films, and now I'm in the White House," said a stunned Craven, whose self-deprecation presumably referred to his horror oeuvre and not his recent Music of the Heart, a Clinton favorite. In addition to the tour, Craven got Clinton to recall meetings with world leaders and share some favorite personal memories. Good luck with the ratings board.