People

By Josh Tyrangiel

TOO BAD KUBRICK ISN'T AVAILABLE

When it comes to biopics loosely based on the lives of white rappers, the bar is set fairly low. (Perhaps you recall 1991's tour de force Cool as Ice, starring Vanilla Ice, Naomi Campbell and Family Ties' Michael Gross?) This is good news for EMINEM, who will enter the white-rapper bio genre with a film of his own, to start shooting later this year. CURTIS HANSON (L.A. Confidential, Wonder Boys) has signed on to direct. "I saw here an opportunity to make a serious movie about the emotional struggles of contemporary adolescents in this country," says Hanson, who sees things in Slim Shady that others may not yet see. "Helping [Eminem] adapt his talents to the screen is one of the things about this project that excites me." Somewhere, the Insane Clown Posse asks, "Why not us?"

Succedaneum This

In Vegas, they've got a saying about the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee: Never bet against a home-schooled kid. The bookies were right again this year as SEAN CONLEY, 13, and home-schooled in Shakopee, Minn., until earlier this year, survived 16 furious rounds to become the nation's top youth orthographer. Conley, who finished second in last year's bee, went head-to-head with Kristin Hawkins for five rounds before knocking her off with succedaneum, which means "one who succeeds to the place of another." (Those bee people are an ironic lot.) But there are a million tales from the spelling bee--for instance, the bizarre happenstance of seven contestants in a row making errors as soon as national TV coverage began, before Abhijith (A-b-h-i-j-i-t-h) Eswarappa broke the streak. Or the sad tale of Lauren Fowler, who, for the second straight year, went out on an item of Italian cuisine. Last year it was biscotti; this time saltimbocca. Porco Dio bee people. Porco Dio.

YEP, SHE'S ENGAGED

If you were a guy and you were dating ANNE HECHE, you'd probably wait a little while before contemplating marriage. You know, just to see if the whole heterosexual thing sticks. Not so COLEMAN LAFFOON, who, after less than a year as Heche's paramour, asked the actress and ex-girlfriend of Ellen DeGeneres to be his wife. According to Heche's manager, she has accepted. The couple met last summer when Heche was directing a documentary about DeGeneres' first out-of-the-closet stand-up comedy tour; Laffoon was the cameraman. Heche has frequently reminded the press that she was not gay prior to meeting DeGeneres, and she did have a two-year relationship with Steve Martin, who, according to several sources, is not a lesbian. No date has been set for the marriage, though Heche was already spotted in the Beverly Hills branch of Saks Fifth Avenue perusing bridal wear. It wouldn't hurt to keep the receipt.

A GOOD WALK SPOILED--FOR SOME

Golf may market itself as the Tiger-ized sport for all shades of fun-loving Americans, but it's still got a few cranky old geezers. Following the Supreme Court's decision allowing CASEY MARTIN to use a golf cart in PGA competition (Justices Thomas and Scalia dissented, speaking of cranky...), there was grumbling from several pro players about the unfairness of it all. "I think we ought to take them all out and play golf," said Jack Nicklaus of the Justices. "I think they'd change their minds." Martin, 28, who suffers from a rare circulatory disorder that may cost him his right leg, could have chipped a tooth on the compassion of some of his peers but instead took the long view. "An institution like the PGA tour," he said, "before they just automatically knock down someone's desire for accommodation, now they might have to think twice."